This One's For You //cth

doce.

A/N;; baby everything is alright uptight out of sight

“Yes,” His voice was so quiet, it was almost inaudible, but the word echoed in my head.

“Oh,” I said, “I'm sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Calum questioned, almost sounding worried about me. I refused to make eye contact with him, or so much as look at him, my eyes glued to the ground, watching different things. The dime in the carpet of the dorm hallway, the small spider making it's way past us rather quickly, “I don't think I can be your friend anymore Calum,” I didn't have to look at him to know he was confused.

“What? Why can't you? I love our friendship,” He shook his head, putting his hand on my shoulder. I looked at his hand frantically, pushing it off of me. Calum looked even more confused as I glanced up at him, but quickly averting my gaze elsewhere.

“Exactly. Our friendship. I'm just a friend to you. I know, you told me you liked me, but you love Thalia, right? So why am I included?”

“Why does who I love affect our friendship?” Did he seriously not get it? After all this time, he didn't realize yet.

“It effects me a lot more than you think, Calum,” I said barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, I get that now, but you still haven't given me a reason why. I mean, you've been a great friend so far, helping me with Alexa and everything, but it's n-,”

“I'm in love with you!” I said louder than planned, thankfully it was early. I felt tears trying to escape and this time, I didn't bother blinking them away. Him seeing me cry was the least of my worries. Calum didn't reply, and I looked up at him finally. I could faintly see his eyes through the sunglasses, and like expected, they were wide.

“Are you gonna look at me like I have six heads or are you gonna fucking speak?” Part of me was angry, but I couldn't pin why.

And then, I did something I couldn't stop myself from doing.

I stepped closer to him, connecting our lips for a moment. I savored the feeling of his warm lips against mine, a trace of alcohol still present. I pulled away before he could react much, jogging back to my dorm. Calum called my name a few times, but I ignored it and kept running. I swung the door open, closing it just as quickly and leaning against it.

/ / you're all places that leave me breathless / /

The lights were off in the dorm, and I was in a blanket nest watching Royal Wedding, which had always been one of my favorite movies since I first saw it with my brother Jack, when I was nine. Tom and Anne singing You're All The World To Me was what ultimately made me fall for the movie itself. I used to always watch this when I was sad, because it always made me happier. Now, it doesn't seem to have much of a positive effect.

I feel like I'm drowning, but in memories. Everything is much too bright. From when I first saw him, to our kiss about two hours earlier.

Each of the times I was with him kept replaying nonstop in a loop in my head, and it sucks, to say the absolute least.

He doesn't love me.

He loves her.

She's prettier, probably smarter, and she's taller than me. Three inches makes a difference, I guess.

He won't ever love me.

Who could? I can't love myself. I don't deserve to be loved.

The thoughts got worse and worse, until I had to turn the tv up 50% louder to block them out, at least temporarily.

I thought of somebody I could call.

“He won't answer,” I mumbled to myself, picking my phone up from the side table and going through my contacts.

“Here goes nothing.”

/ / with the lights out it's less dangerous here we are now entertain us / /

“I thought you never wanted to speak to me again?” My older brother answered.

“I know I said that, but I really need to take my mind off of, certain things,” I cleared my throat.

“I'm an entire state away, but I can talk to you on the phone. What's on your mind, little sister?” Jack asked, and I sighed.

“There's this guy,”

“Oh, let me sit down, I have a feeling this is gonna take a couple hours,” He teased and I giggled before continuing.

“His name is Calum. He's tall, hockey captain, completely fucking gorgeous.”

“On a scale of Robert Downey Jr. to Ian Somerhalder, how gorgeous?”

Jack was very openly gay, which was great, although cliché, but it was fun because I got to talk to him about boys.

“Dylan O'Brien.”

“Woah, really? Bag that bitch and lock him away for all eternity, he must be beautiful,” I couldn't help but laugh at what he was saying, and I could hear him laughing on the other end too.

“But, okay, here's the problem, he doesn't love me.”

“Why not? Is he blind? You're perfect.”

My cheeks heated up instantly.

“Far from it, but thanks. Like I was saying, he only likes me. But his first love is at this college, and he loves her.” My voice dripped with sadness as I explained.

“Oh no,” His voice turned sympathetic, “I'm so sorry.”

Our conversation consisted of talking about Jack's life and all after that.

“So, uh, how's Blaise?” Jack was hesitant when he asked this. Blaise and Jack dated for nearly a year, and Jack broke up with him. Neither of them ever told me the reason why, and I decided not to ask a while ago, since they both hated talking about it.

“Oh, he's um, he's hanging in there. He just went through stuff with his boyfrie- well, ex-boyfriend, and he's pretty shaken up about it.”

“I see,” There was an awkward silence until he sighed, “I gotta go, I really hope things work out for you sis. I love you.” And he hung up.

And my mind flooded with thoughts all over again.

A/N;; that really sucked badly and it's so short i'm so sorry