152 views wow thanks lol👸even though I suck.
Lara's POV
It was Monday again after a a weekend full of excitement and fun with Ashton and the group. The day went by slowly today I didn't have any classes with Ashton. Apparently he was taking me out on a date today so when I got home I changed into some black skinny jeans a grey crop top that only exposed a tiny bit of my belly and a leather jacket.
I added some bracelets to cover up..the battle scars. I suddenly just sat down and put my head in my hands. I looked at my wrists and cried, I curled into a ball and just cried. "Why me?" I whispered. I don't know what was going on all that I know is that I'm relapsing. I missed my mom and my dad, my real dad. I got up and went to the bathroom.
I grabbed a razor and sat by the tub, I cut a slit on my wrist and winced. I did about 10 more till my hand was soaking in blood. I couldn't care less, I wiped my tears and just closed my eyes and slept. Forgetting about the world for a little while.
Ashton's POV
I was getting ready to take Lara on a date, I finished and hopped into my car excited. I couldn't wait to show her were we were going. I texted her saying I'll be their in 5. She didn't answer I shrugged it off she was probably still getting ready.
I reached her house and texted her saying I'm outside. I waited 5 minutes no answer. I called her, it went directly to voicemail. I started getting nervous, maybe she was ignoring me? I went to her doorstep and knocked on the door no answer. I was getting really scared and then I remembered she puts her key under the mat. I quickly took it out and unlocked the door.
"Babe?" I say searching the rooms for her. I opened the door and my heart broke into pieces. "W-What no." I cry getting onto my knees. Her arm had so many cuts and the blood was all over the sink and floor and bathtub. I slightly put some cold water on her in attempt to wake her up. One of my tears falling on her face In the process. Her cheeks were tear stained.
She coughed and then gasped, I sigh of relief jolted over me. She saw me and immediately started crying. I held her to my chest, by now she was sobbing. My heart was beating so fast and it hurt so bad right now. she was curled up into my lap, broken, hurt. And numb to the whole world. "L-Lara calm down baby." I say in attempt of soothing her.
"I want to die." She croaked, my eyes widened. That's when I realized I'm in love with the girl that's in my arms right now. I didn't know how to say it, sure I love you and I'm in love with you are different things. But what if what I'm feeling right now isn't love? I never believed in love. I kissed her forehead, "No please stay with me, I need you." I whisper to her as her crying turned into sniffles.
"I'm s-sorry." She said looking down embarrassed with her self. "Why?" I say wiping the smeared mascara off her beautiful face. "For doing this." She said. I shook my head no, "Babe that's why I'm here for you." I said my voice cracking she nodded and I reached down to kiss her. She kissed me back causing my heart to flutter.
You're in love with this beautiful girl in front of you right now. My thoughts began to take over my brain. I tried to brush it off, I helped Lara to her feets and got her arms cleaned off. I kissed ever single scar she had on their she smiled and let a tear roll down her face. I hugged her and felt miserable, why would she do this to her self? Why couldn't she just had talked to me.
I decided not to ask her right now. I picked her up and placed her body gently on her bed. Her shirt had blood on it, I took it off not looking at her breast. She blushed as I gave her my sweatshirt I had left here yesterday. After that I sat next to her and hugged her, trying to hold her together. I soon found myself drifting off into sleep with the girl I- I love in my arms.
Lara's POV
He held me in his arms making my heart beat like crazy. This boy makes me insane. He kissed my scars and made me feel worth it. I began to realize I truly loved him. I never had felt this way about anyone. My dad would have been so proud if he knew him. "I love you." I whisper, their was no answer I looked up and saw that he was fast asleep.
I slightly smiled at his innocent face and kissed his nose. I ran my fingers threw his hair as I pulled the blanket over us two. I hugged him to my chest, his arms groggily wrapped around my waist. I kissed his for head and a tear slipped out of my eye for some reason. I was such a mess today. It was only 6 right now. I slowly got up and went to my desk, it had my sketch book on it.
I grabbed a sharp pencil and sat on the chair and just began to draw...I drew a girl with wings and tears. Her eyes were filled with fear and worry as they were looking down at the ground. Her wings were crumpled and slouched down. Her hair covering her face, as her arms had scars on them. I soon realized that that girl was me. I'm the messed up one.
I flipped the page and started writing quotes. Quotes that just came straight from my heart, and just lyrics. Words that described me right now. I took my phone and headphones and played Skinny Love by Birdy. I was crying by the end of it what is wrong with me? I thought, I got up and walked outside feeling anxious and overwhelmed with the heat inside.
I sat outside and watched the sun set, I looked at it with complete awe. It was absolutely beautiful. I noticed that I had received a text from Michael.
From Red Haired kid:
Hey Lara wanna hanggggg I'm really bored and everyone is busy and I don't know we're Ashton is lol.
I slightly laughed at his weirdness.
To Red Haired kid:
Ashton is with me but he's asleep, you can come over sitting outside.
From Red Haired kid:
K. Penis.
He was so immature but oh well. About 6 minutes later he showed up. "Hey." he greeted giving me a hug. "Hi." I say hugging him back we sat on the ground. He looked into my eyes "What's wrong?" He asks examining my face and puffy eyes. "Have you been crying?" He asked. "Nothing's wrong, no I'm fine." I say not looking him in the eye.
"You're lying Lara." He said. I gave him a sorrow look. I decided to tell him, "I'm sorry." He said hugging me, "you know I'll always be here just think of me as your brother ok?" He asked I nodded. He pulled something out of his pocket and it was a pack of cigarettes. My eyes slightly widened, "do you want one." I quickly nodded and took it from his hands. I lit it with his lighter and put it to my lips inhaling it enjoying that sensation. While he did the same, we started talking about random shit untill Ashton woke up and looked outside looking for me. He saw us and came out.
"Hey." he greeted smiling. I gave him a kiss, "have you smoked?" He asked making a weird face. "Yea sorry.." I say. "It's okay." He smiled and talked to Michael. Soon it was getting late and Michael had to leave. We said goodbye and he left, "Do you have to go to?" I ask. He shakes his head no, "I'm staying with you tonight." He smiled.
I smiled widely and the boy I was in love with and hugged him. We went inside and watched a comedy movie in attempt to cheer me up. I wasn't really paying attention, I was watching Ashton everything about him is just beautiful. His laugh, his giggle, his smile, his eyes, his hair, his face, his arms just everything.
I smiled and thanked God I have him, he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my for head I soon drifted into sleep into his arms. 'I'm in love with you Ashton Irwin' was my last thought.
---------------
MY HEART HURTS. I've been listing to Skinny Love while I was writing this this is why it's so sad!
