I admit,
I drank a bit much,
but you were drinking with me.
I thought we were friends.
I trusted you.
But you waited until I was weak
and you used that.
It was just like any other weekend,
another party,
another drunk night filled with shot after shot.
My ex was there,
Sam
We always partied together.
We were good friends,
we took care of each other,
you ruined that.
I blacked out that night.
You and i did a shot together and it didnt settle very well.
I stepped outside for some air,
you and Sam were quick to follow.
I remember telling you guys to go back to the party,
that I was fine before turning and puking.
You rubbed my back and Sam held my hair back.
Next thing i knew i woke up in the guest bed.
You on top of me.
I'll never forget the look in your eyes
As you pulled at the top of my pants.
I tried to shove your hand,
tried to tell you no,
you said "sshhhh"
and helplessly,
i did.
I woke up again as you were finishing.
You started to get off and Sam opened the door.
I will never forget the look in his eyes.
The pure pain as he looked to me.
That pain faded as he realized I didn't want what you had done.
You broke me.
You mentally destroyed me.
You ruined a friendship.
You ruined bonds.
You made me forever stuck on that moment.
Forever panicking when I see your face in our town,
that suddenly seemed so much smaller.
Forever turning and finding a new path in the hallway at our school.
Forever struggling to explain to teachers and counselors why I couldn't take that class.
You destroyed me.
•
•
2 years later,
I had a flashback of that night.
It hurt.
I was terrified.
I thought i was passed that,
that I was stronger.
Im not.
Im the same old weak,
stupid girl that let that happen in the first place.
I couldnt even close my eyes.
Every time I did i saw your face,
that moment,
over and over again.
You have forever changed me
and it's something that I can never forgive you for.
I hate you
I hate everything you are for how you destroyed me.
I only wish that you could be forever put through what you did to me,
maybe then you will understand
how much you truly broke me.
