It's not always rainbows and butterflies

Chapter 1

Growing up wasn't easy. I was dealt a pretty crappy hand in life. From the age of four I was taken into foster care because my mother neglected me and because her pervy boyfriend liked little girls a bit too much.

I still remember the day the social worker came to take me away. The nice lady came into our grotty little flat and picked me up. She told me to go and get my favourite teddy and that we were going to take a trip to the shops for some sweets. After I got in that car I never saw my birth mother.... or those promised sweets again.

After a while in the car we pulled up in a new neighbourhood in a new city. We got out of the car and walked into a pretty garden full of flowers. A lady came rushing out to meet us. Her crazy curly brown hair was all mussed up and wind blown from been outside gardening but she had the biggest smile and a set of loving blue eyes and as soon as she wrapped her arms around me and picked me up I knew I was home. Safe.

"I'm Brenda but you can call me mommy if you want." she said as she hugged my tiny body. I smiled. She was so friendly and warm. Not like my other mommy. She never hugged me. I heard I loud squeal and peered over her shoulder.

"Who's that" I said pointing over to the tall, skinny teenager running around the garden to get away from the ice cold jet of water been blast out of a hose pipe aimed in her direction.

"That is your big sister marina." She smiled. At that point the young girl came running over. "Mom! Aunty Maureen is squirting me." She moaned.

My new mommy smiled. "I'm sure you'll dry off. Its boiling out today." She said and put me down on the floor but kept hold of my hand. "Marina, this is your new little sister Dawn. She's going to be living with us now. Can you go out to the car and help the lady in with her stuff."

"Yeah alright." She huffed, then looked down at me. "Hiya" She said scrubbing the top of my head with her hand. "Be back in a minute." She called strolling her way out to the social workers car.

"Lets go inside and meet the others shall we?" My new mommy said and took me inside my new home. When I walked in the first thing I noticed was how clean is was. The flat I used to live in with my other mommy was smelly and dirty. We didn't even have carpets. I walked into the living room and there were kids everywhere.

"Everyone!" Mom raised her voice slightly to get the attention of the amorous bunch running around the room. They all stopped what they were doing and looked at mom, then their gazes shifted to me. I hid behind my new mom slightly. I didn't like everyone staring at me.

"Everyone, this your new little sister Dawn." She pulled me from behind her and started introducing everyone. "That's Darran, Martin and the twins mark and Adam. You've already met Marina and you have an older brother Stephen who lives on his own now but you'll see him on Sunday. He never misses my Sunday roast." She smiles.

I hear a collective bunch of voices mumble their hellos and turn around to see marina walk in with two black bags. All the possessions I have. One bag with some clothes in and the other with a few ratty old toys. Everything I own. She looks up and me and smiles.

"Come on, I'll show you our room." She says and starts up the stairs. I let go of new mommy's hand and follow her upstairs. She puts her shoulder to the door and shoves it open.

"This is our room." She says out of breath and dumps my things in a pile on the floor. I have a room! A pretty girly room! With an actual bed! My bed in my other mommy's flat had been a dirty mattress on the floor with a blanket. I jumped up onto the bed and laid back on the my little pony duvet cover smiling. I was finally home.

11 years later....

Its a freezing cold, wet October morning. The mud squelches underneath my feet and tears pour down my face. My mind is blank and my body is numb. I've felt this way almost four days. Ever since I heard those words no child would wish to hear.....