Thawing The Ice

Alone

More coming soon : )

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The soft blue sheets were loosely draped across his body as he lay on the freezing bed. It had only been a few minutes since Peter had clothed himself and left in a hurry without a word, disappearing into the night.

Chris was finding it hard to fall asleep due to the low temperature and the terrible empty feeling churning inside him. He rubbed his neck as he sat up to lean against the headboard. The night was still and silent, probably calming for others, but uncomfortable for him.

He outstretched his arm and reached for his boxers that were resting on the floor beside him. Pulling them on, Chris slowly stood up to exit his room without bothering to get a shirt despite the chill. 

Although it was completely dark, he could make out his surroundings clearly, thanks to his father's torturous idea of training. He realized that switching on the lights would wake Allison and that was not something he wanted. Once he got to his study, Chris left the door ajar before moving to his desk and turning on the little lamp that emitted a dim orange light.

He was about to pour himself a glass of Jack Daniel's before he replaced it with water since he was aware that he definitely didn't have any self-restraint at the moment, which would result in him downing the whole bottle.

As quietly as possible, Chris pulled back the chair and took a seat by the desk. He raised the glass to his chapped lips, taking short sips as the cold liquid flowed down his throat. He sighed, rubbing his face, and set down the glass. The ghost of Peter's touch on his skin still haunted him, causing him to shudder.

The wolf had crept onto his bed once again almost a month ago, after many years, and Chris had genuinely been happy to see him, but soon he realized that it wasn't the same. Chris wasn't an idiot. Much had happened during the last few years, so obviously nothing was the same. However, the Peter he knew and loved was gone; non-existent.

He was different, almost mechanical and callous, and the only thing that stopped him from believing that Peter was a robot, was the warmth of his body as well as the beating of his heart. Peter uttered only a few words of brusque sentences to him to prove that he wasn't mute. He didn't know why, but when they kissed it felt distant and detached as if in reality there were a million miles between their lips.

The Hale would visit him every night and each time it ended with Chris stretched across his bed, the same dark void inside his body eating away at his system. At the start, he had assumed it was simply Peter being Peter, but as the days went by, it only got worse and Chris could see that the wolf wasn't who he used to be. 

Peter never even approached him during the day, much less set eyes on him. He seemed to pretend as if there was no sort of affiliation between him and Chris, and as much as he tried to ignore it, it hurt him. He wasn't asking to hold hands or have make out sessions in front of the pack. All he wanted was maybe at least a smile and a little assurance. Peter acted like they weren't even together and at that point Chris wasn't even sure of what they were.

Yet, he didn't want whatever their messed up relationship was to stop. He loved having Peter turning up in his room and providing him with ecstasy, even if it was just for a little while. He couldn't stand the idea of the younger man disappearing once more and would prefer the cold but still so passionate sex over it. Furthermore, he was in love with Peter like he had been when he was younger. Chris lost the man once and wasn't prepared to lose him again.

However, with each day Chris only felt a little more awful. He wanted to understand what he had done wrong, so he could repent his mistakes, but with Peter's reticent tight-lipped demeanor, Chris knew he wouldn't get anywhere or find the answers to his questions.

He ran his fingers through his hair with a low groan. Not just that, but he hated that the helplessness and frustration were affecting him so badly. He hated feeling so unwanted and yet that didn't mean he was going to let go of Peter. Chris was more than sure that deep down, the wolf did love him and felt more for him than he let on. Why else would he always return to his side without fail when the sun went down? It couldn't be just a heartless fuck or a way of release. If only he knew why the Hale was acting the way he was.

"Dad? Are you okay?" he heard Allison's voice and almost knocked over the glass.

"Oh, hey, sweetie," he said, realizing his lack of clothing, "Yes. I'm okay."

She stood by the now open door in a large t-shirt along with shorts, her hair pulled into a loose ponytail. Her expression was of concern, and he sighed to himself.

Chris always made sure that Allison never saw him weak or in distress since he knew that his daughter would worry about him even more. She was constantly looking out for him, requesting that he take care or relax. He couldn't blame her. Allison's mother had died only months ago and all they had was each other. He just didn't want to be an extra burden on her because it was Chris's duty to stay strong for the both of them or at least pretend to be.

She nodded at him silently.

"Can't sleep?" he asked her with a small smile.

"No, I just woke up and saw the light coming from the study." she replied and then frowned, "Aren't- Aren't you cold?"

"Uh- yeah I'll put something on in a bit." he told her, clutching the glass and taking another sip of water.

"You sure you're okay, Dad?" she bit her lip.

"It's nothing you have to worry about, love. I promise." he responded, rising from his seat and walking towards Allison.

He stroked her cheek and kissed the top of her head. She smiled at him before giving him a hug.

"I don't know what it is, but I'm sure you can solve this in the morning. You need  to sleep." she took his hand and squeezed it softly.

I will now. You should too, boo. I love you." Chris nodded at her.

"Love you too."

Allison stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and hugged him again before she returned to her room. After he switched off the lamp, Chris locked the door of the study before he went to his own. 

He climbed back into bed and at some point in the night, he fell finally asleep.

*****

Chris woke up in the morning with Allison's words ringing inside his head. He could solve the problem, but only if he actively tried to do something about it. He wasn't afraid of Peter, and he needed to make the man understand that Chris was suffering, and had been suffering for a while now. He was dying to know what his fault was and what it would take for the Hale to stop behaving so closed off. 

Once he had dropped Allison at the high school, Chris was on his way to the loft. He had planned on meeting Derek anyway and realized that Peter would most probably be there as well. 

The sliding door of the loft was unlocked by Derek when Chris got there and the first thing that came into his view was his wolf. Peter was dressed in a dark green long-sleeved V-neck and blue jeans. He was leaning back on the large table at the center, roaring with laughter about something he assumed Derek had said.

Chris couldn't take his eyes off him, and he felt a yearning gnaw at his heart. He wanted to walk over to Peter and kiss him to his heart's content. He wanted to hold the man, run his fingers along the sharp cheekbones and stare into the deep blue eyes, but he was frozen to the spot.

"Well, I should head out to do the groceries now. Try not to need my extremely helpful advice, dear nephew." Peter said snatching his jacket from the couch, completely disregarding Chris, as if he wasn't even there.

"Oh, I won't." Derek replied.

The older Hale proceeded to trot up the stairs and walk past Chris, his gaze never falling on him. Chris couldn't find his voice to call out, to stop him, and just stood there watching Peter walking away from him one more time.