Happy new yeaaaarrr!!
We're starting a new year, probably with a new life with some new dreams to follow.
Last year was a really horrible year, not only for you but for me too. The year where more insecure and tired I was. Tired of what? I don't know. Some days I felt like I couldn't or I didn't want to get up and other days where I didn't want to fall asleep because I was so happy. A little of all.
Crying some days, happy most of the days, wanting to kill people days. Confusing.
And all happened too fast that they're just memories now. When all of this started we just wanted it to finish, and it finished. Now what? Now is when all starts again.
I probably didn't enjoy this past year and I'm writing this to have a small diary of how 2020 was.
We started in the best way, we started the year together♡ and I was so happy because my bubu would start university and be the best! I was so used to talk with you and see you every day that for me in that moment stay separated wasn't a problem. It wasn't a big problem. I was already bad at the beginning of the year because of my knee problems but I told myself to ignore that and keep going. So.. was I happy and bad at the same time? Bad for what was happening to me and really happy to have you by my side.
The first months were good, I was missing you as always but happy because I knew you would come back some day♡ All February and March passed until the virus appears. First we thought we had it and that it'll never arrive here but it did. I took it as small holidays but soon I started to feel tired and I wanted to do something more. Of course I kept supporting you! It was good because at least I had more time to support you.
But then homeworks started to arrive and that meant I didn't have too much time to talk with you :c so I always tried to finish as fast as I could so I could talk with you when you were free but that made me even more tired. So I entered in a -I don't know who am i- buckleㅋㅋ.
Now you know why I sleep so late.
I said being separated from you wasn't a big problem, right? Well it was a lie. It was a lie because I missed you so much, the next months were harder. And June was the worst. In all the photos of that month I see myself sick.
I really thought I could lose you in those months, not really sure why. I just thought about it a lot of times and I was bad for it. I wanted to see you and hug you at least just once. But I couldn't and I couldn't stay with you when you more needed it. It hurted a lot. It hurted to know I was near but so far from you at the same time. And the people who were with you didn't appreciate you. It was too difficult to deal with that. It was difficult to convince myself that everything was okay because I didn't know it.
But well I didn't say anything because I knew you were doing your best there and worrying for other things wouldn't be good. I was happy if you were happy!
I'm not going to lie, June will always be the worst month. I just hate it, and not seeing you that day or in yours was worse. I told myself again to stop thinking in 바보 things, just keep going and support you a lot lot.
I don't lie when I say you keep me alive. If I keep going is just to travel with you in a future and because I love you so much. I wouldn't keep going if it wasn't for you. That's why it was hard to be so far away for so long.
That's why I was so happy when I saw you again and so sad when you left.
I want to enjoy this year so much♡ :c. I still confused and some things scare me but I'm safe with you, I know I can trust in you and you'll be here like I will!
In all this year the only person who made me laugh and feel happy was you, so there's no way I'll leave you. You make me feel alive bubu, with you I feel there isn't anything bad and it's all happiness.
I love you more than what I can tell and more than what I can express. You only deserve good things and that's why I support you all what I can, i give you all the love i have and i know sometimes it's not enough and I get worse with myself. But I still doing it because it makes me good too.
I love being lovely with you so that will never change. And I love when you're lovely too! So never stop being it.
I don't promise a perfect year because probably it won't be but I promise to stay always by your side and you can trust in me honey, believe me I'll always be here. I can't show you but I know I'll always be here. You're all what I need in this world.
Maybe I worry too much for these things that's why I write them but I really want us to be happy and to not have these bad moments where I know I can support you or you can support me. I want to be there for you like you were for me!
I promise I'll never let go of your hand, I won't do the same as your past friends did. Because I'm nothing without bubu and I'm so happy you still with me so I'll enjoy it♡
This year that passed was a little different but I still thought you were there with me and I kept going for you♡ thank you for being with me honey, i owe you my life.
Thanks for keep dealing with me and staying here with me even if I'm this annoying. I'm so annoyingㅋㅋ. But I love you so much so that's why I'm like this.
Thanks for other year more♡ thanks for being my light, thanks for being my reason to be alive. You're the brightest star, the most beautiful universe. My soulmate, the only person I want with me. I'm so proud of you, you will be the best person for everyone because you're just amazing♡ you will do wonderful things and I'll be here to cheer and support you♡.
I don't want anything on return, just that you still with me. I wouldn't survive without you, I would be lost. So my wish for this new year is to keep staying by your side, to create more beautiful memories with you and to achieve a lot more goals! You're the best person that appeared in my life, you were there when no one was. You appeared in the perfect moment to save me and show me the happiness way. You just... saved my life, you made me happier, you made me lovelier, you made me confident. It's all thanks to you. The reason I'm here writing this is because I love you so much, because I want you to see the beautiful person you are♡. Maybe other people don't see it like that but I do. I do think you're the most beautiful and smartest of everyone, I believe you can do big things if you keep dreaming high!
"If isn't scary, the dream wasn't big enough"
We can do amazing things if we don't think twice and we just do them. So I'll always be here cheering you in all the decisions you take bubu.
We're dreamers, we love challenging ourselves but that wouldn't be possible if we didn't have anyone supporting us. So I'll be here for you honey. You deserve this much love and I'm going to give you all what I can♡
Be yourself and don't let anyone change you. Being other person is not good bubu, why should we hide? Why should we do what other people want? We have our life and it's just ours, we have to do what we want because we will have to live forever with it. So what's better than loving yourself♡.
I know what's better, having someone like you by my side👉🏻👈🏻
So well bubu, thanks for being you and not changing♡ thanks for accepting me and not forgetting me. Thanks for all the small things you do for me, I appreciate them so much. Thanks for trusting and sharing your secrets with me. I don't know what have I done to deserve someone like you but I'll never let you go, ill always hold your hand🖐🏻❤ I'll always be here if you need something.
I'll always be your baby and you'll always be mine♡ I love you really much and I'm so grateful you're my soulmate.
Let's stay always together, can we?
Wish this new year bring us a lot of happiness, surprises and more moments together.
I love you so much my dear bubu💜.
Sincerely,
This annoying kitten🐱❤
