Part I

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I'm sick and tired of making the same mistake over and over again.
The bathtub's filled with water and bubbles, a lot of bubbles actually, enough to cover my whole existence.
I feel empty, heavy, weighted. Overweighted. I don't like calling myself a pessimist. But I know I am. I always ask myself questions about my importance. I am definitely not important, at least I don't feel like I am important. I am myself. I believe that I haven't changed although my friends, family, neighbours, teachers and fellow classmates have a different opinion..
I'm Lydia, Lydia Michelle. I'm 16, from Michigan, a pianist. Well used to be a pianist..
I am not sure how to describe the whole situation -how I became so pessimistic- but I guess you'll get it, you'll get me.
I'm okay though, trust me.

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