All Your Little Things

Chapter 30- What A Life

January

Elizabeth

The two weeks before I went back to school were pretty incredible. Niall and the boys all performed at Madison Square Garden, and they did an amazing job.

We spent New Year's in New York, going to parties and watching the ball drop, finished off with a kiss at midnight.

And it was all unforgettable. I loved this life I had, but Niall had to leave, and that killed me.

January 1, Niall and I were sobered up enough to take a walk outside. I put on jeans, boots, a Burberry jacket with a scarf and hat, and we set outside.

We made our way to Central Park, which still had snow stuck in its trees. Niall put his arm around me, and kissed the top of my head.

"Niall?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Do you ever think...like...what if you hadn't done something so small that led to something so big...what if all of this never happened?"

"How do you mean?"

"What if you never tried out for X-Factor? What if you never picked up a guitar? What if any of the other boys overslept and missed the audition?"

"What if you and I hadn't both decided to go eat lunch at that restaurant that day?" He mentioned.

"Exactly, but I feel like X-Factor changed your life more than I ever will."

"Well, I hate to break it to you, lovely, but you changed my life more than any old guitar or record deal ever will. You walk into that restaurant with that lovely laugh of yours and terrible singing and dancing, you said hello and told me your dreams. You made me see life differently, and you had my heart in your hands from the start."

"You're too perfect, Mr. Horan." He kissed my head again. "But really, what if all of that never happened?"

"I don't know, love. I think everything would be a whole hell of a lot different. I'd be working somewhere after uni for sound engineering, probably in Dublin. I might have married some girl from back home. You might have had fun in England, but then you would have come back and gotten back to life in America. Everything would be screwey--not how it should be or how we want it to be. I think you and I would be very, very different people."

"It's sad, isn't it?"

"What is that?"

"That we rely so much on experiences to define who we are. That we can't just become those people on our own."

"Oh, really? I find it sort of amazing." He told me.

"Explain." I said.

"Well think about it. It's all fate and destiny. Every person, place, and event will change you. It'll become a part of who you are and change you forever. Imagine not getting into Georgetown. Imagine you have to go to Cleveland State University. That would have changed who you are, who you meet, and ultimately what career you're going to get. Those people you would meet at CSU would have changed, and your career would have changed you. And it's truly incrdible how just one person, one little experience, can change your entire life dramatically."

"Wow."

"And you can go as far back as you want. Think back to your great-grandparents. In question, you would not exist if they had never met, gotten married, and had children."

"But they're just memories now. Someday, all of this will just be stories. It'll just be a photo, a memory. Nothing more. Our names will be written down and remembered, but our glory days will be gone. We'll all be someone's parent. We'll all settle down and get a solid job. We'll move on."