The Eerie Tale of Don Dipshit

     And so begins Don's story. Don Dipshit was your average Joe, never enjoying the finer aspects of life; after a near failure of high school, he was to go on to college, but realized that education could not surfice his desires; which lacked any attempt at becoming a well educated human being. The decision to go into construction came about when Don got a divorce from the local whore he married because of getting her pregnant. She avoided heroine during pregnancy, but eventually turned back to the rusty needle. Don felt abandoned, he went on to live in his mom's basement until one day, he was offered the job of a lifetime; to: "make a pile and shovel it", as his dirty, ass crack neighbor had always said. Don joined the local construction crew and worked blistering hours in the sun, working on buildings. He earned his living and was proud to pay off his Child Support to that dirty skank, whose name was Candy Downs.

     life went on like this until he was in his mid 40's. When one day, Don discovered Nikelback. The shitty songs reminded of brighter days when he almost took state throwing the pigskin.  They also reminded him of how much of a sorrowful lower he was. Eventually he drank heavily while listening to Nikelback and eventually died of drinking too much Hawkeye vodka; the graceful image of his foremans hairy as crack flowing through his mind. The only person at his funeral was in-fact, the foreman, who instructed the grave digger to, "make a pile and shovel it." life went on without the abomination that was, Don Dipshit.

     And the moral of this story is, don't steal other people's lawnmowers.