Note to Kenny (south park ff COMPLETED)

Dear Kenny...

Dear Kenny,
Pfoe. Where do I start?
Are you surprised? Probably. You knew I wasn't doing too well, didn't you? But did you knew it was this bad? No. No one did. You're probably sad and shocked, but I can explain.
It all started when...well...I was born. I've always felt like smiling wasn't my thing. I never fit in and didn't try to. I didn't care. I always sat alone in the corner of the room, doing pretty much nothing. I didn't had much friends, but never got bullied, simply because I never spoke and barely anyone noticed my presence. Even my parents seemed to sometimes forget I was alive. It wasn't shocking that when kindergarten was over, no one came to pick me up. I was a loner, and not always because I choose to.
My parents barely ever made dinner, they were out a lot and I had to take care of myself. Which, I guess, was fine. Because it made me responsible.
Then my little sister was born. How horrible I felt for her, knowing that that little girl had to live the way I lived.
How wrong I was. She was my mother's precious little girl. Always getting what she wanted as soon as she asked for it.
Not long after Ruby was born, my parents started getting into serious money problems, which made them stressed and drove them to become the horrible humans they are today. And, like you know, they divorced when I was 12. But I never told you how they got divorced.
It's a long story, basically; it was my birthday. I turned 12 that day, but I didn't expect much, since I've never celebrated my birthday normally. My dad came downstairs angrily and started arguing with my mom. Who, apparently, had cheated on my dad. I remember sitting on the couch with my sister, watching Red Racer on the television. I looked over to my right and saw my parents fighting in the kitchen. Without any emotion on my face, I witnessed how my dad grabbed my mother's throat and pushed her against the wall, holding her there. His eyes stared furiously into my mom's terrified ones. She lifted her knee and with all her power she kicked him in his testicles. He fell down and my mom ran towards me and Ruby. I knew she was going to leave and never return, and I knew I wouldn't miss her. And I knew she would take Ruby, and not me.
She grabbed Ruby and picked her up. Together, they flew through the front door, and I never saw them again.
This left my with anger filled father and me in one house. Everything just went downhills on my 12th birthday.
He became an alcohol addict and had big anger issues. He was violent and irresponsible and I don't understand why I never did something against him.
I now see that I should have called the police or something. But as you know, I didn't.
When I was 14 I confessed my endless love to you, as you know. I will never forget how you chuckled the cutest way possible, teared down your hoody, and kissed me. And then we were official.
Well, no one knew, which was for the better.
I loved every second we spent together. I loved how you smelled. I loved how you, when you got dressed into your parka, tucked your hair underneath your hoody. I loved how you kissed your teeth when I asked a personal question. I loved how we would run away together in the middle of the night, steal drugs or alcohol and drink or use it together. I loved how we used to shower together. I loved how your hair would jump every way when you pulled down your hoody. I loved how we had the best sex ever(Not that I ever had sex with another guy.. but y'know...still)!
You were the only reason I was alive.
I am sorry for never telling you how I got molested as soon as I entered my house. How much pain I suffered. But I didn't want you to pity me, I didn't want you to look at me and see a guy who is so weak he can't stand up against his father.
So, two year later, last month, I ran away from home after my dad tried to rape me. It was the worse experience ever and I should kneel down and thank the Lord on my bare knees that he could not do what he planned to do.
Without a dollar or piece of clothing I left the place I called home, to find a new one. I wanted to go to your place at first, but didn't want to have to explain why I came knocking on your door in the middle of the night... So I stayed outside. In the freezing cold.
It surprises and kind of disappoints me that you didn't notice that I hadn't showered for ages and how tired and hungry and down I was.
I ate from trash cans, or stole food from school or bakery's. I showered after school at the gym showers. I stole clothes and shoes to wear. I became too skinny and was sick a lot, but you didn't notice a thing.
When winter came closer, I decided to ask if it was okay for me to stay at your place for a few nights.
You declined.
Why? I will never know. I guess it was because you're embarrassed of the conditions you live in. But you had no idea how I lived.

So, dear Kenny,
My life does not have any point anymore. Remember that I will always love you, my death is not your fault. It's my own. The moment I left the womb, I knew living wasn't meant for me, how stupid that may sound. I'm happier now. I hope you will be too.
By the time you found this note, it will be Sunday, because I asked you to come here today. I planned it all. I wrote this letter, climbed into my old bedroom, which hasn't changed a bit, and did it. Saturday was my birthday and this year, I slit my wrists.
Don't enter the bathroom, please.