The way I am (eminem) (re-edit)

Chapter Fifty-Six

Sophie's POV

"He is fucking messed up man!" Marshall huffed and Jay just shrugged but agreed.

I know after what just happened I should hate Antonio but I still just love him. Yet, I still have feelings for Marshall which I know I can not ignore. Whenever i'm with him I just get butterflies and I get jealous of him and Kim.

Antonio really scared me then. I think now I know why he doesn't drink sprits when he is with me.

I also know Marshall told Antonio he cannot see me because I heard him telling Jay about it. It's hard in the way that Jay wouldn't be hurt right now if I had just stayed with Antonio.

"You think this is your fault don't you?" Marshall sighed snapping me out of my thoughts.

I burst into tears, maybe it's because it's that time of the month or maybe it's because it all really hurts, but I just cried.

Marshall got up and came and sat next to me and pulled me close to him. He just traced circles on my arm and it actually calmed me.

Jay looked fed up and well, beat up. I know it must be hard watching over me all of the time, but I would love for him to go out.

"Jay man, why don't you go out a bit? I will stay with Soph, looks like you need it man. I can go proofs or fuzz's with her or sleep here but you should go enjoy yourself" Marshall suggested ,obviously having the same thought as me.

"I might just do that man, if I do I will crash somewhere so you two can chill here and take my room or whatever" Jay agreed. Marshall nodded and Jay left to get changed.

Spending a night with my best friend again will be fun. I miss him so much and it makes it so hard to wake up every morning, i'm so scared he will just leave.

I heard Jay leave about 30 minutes later, man he is bruised to fuck!

About half an hour after that there was a knock at the door, disturbing mine and Marshall's jam to N.W.A.

I figured it would just be Jay because he may have forgot his key or something and just remembered.

I got up and walked to the front door to be faced with my boyfriend. I just hoped Marshall would stay where he was so I grabbed my key and closed the door and stood on the front with him.

"Is Halstead here?" He bit his lip, his voice shaky. It was clear the alcohol was starting to wear off now.

"Dawson, baby, even if he was, there is no way I would let him near you. Halstead is your best friend, he has been through all this Detroit shit with you! You would have fucking killed him Antonio" a small tear rolled down my check but I tried to stay calm, whispering so Marshall didn't hear.

"If you weren't there I wouldn't of stopped but he would of fought back, I know he didn't because he didn't want to scare you, sort of like I just did. Sophie I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart, I just needed you. I love you so much!" He walked a bit closer to me but I stepped back and he stopped. "I really scared you, didn't I? I'm a fucking dick! I didn't think. Sophie Brookes, from this day forward, from the bottom of my heart, I promise I will never drink anything alcoholic but beer, as long as I know you"

"I believe you Antonio, just please, leave until the alcohol is out of your system, sleep it all off. I will see you tomorrow or sometime within the next few days"

"I love you" he sighed.

"I love you too, goodbye" with that he just left, miserably.

"Antonio" I shouted and he stopped and looked at me. "I'm not mad at you or scared but you need to find Jay and say sorry"

"I really love you Soph. I will do, I promise, bye" He smiled and I walked back into the house.

"Why would you go outside with him?" Marshall asked, gritting his teeth. He was stood in the hall way by the door so he has obviously looked to see it was Antonio.

"Oh Marshall please, you think you can just get all up in my business. So he was a violent prick once with me around! At least he is not sleeping with half of Detroit"

"Oh my god I know that was not a comment about Kim!"

"Look you are my best friend Marshall, I think we need some order in this though. I'm asking for one thing" I was calm and fed up.

"What's that?"

"We don't get up in each others business"

"Fine, you make your decisions I make mine. I'm going to be here for you just don't make bad decisions"

"Same goes for you dickface!"

Me and Marshall have a strange friendship, one moment I could put a bullet through his head, the next I just want to hug him.

"What if he hurt you though Soph?" Marshall sighed as we walked back into the living room.

"I don't think he would hurt me. Earlier when he was beating the shit out of Jay when he looked at me, I just saw something change, I don't know"

"As long as you are sure babe"

"I am. So where is Kimberly?"

"With Dawn"

"Smoking pot no doubt" I rolled my eyes.

"She is still my girlfriend"

"And she still beat the crap out of me for years. Marshall, at the end of the day, it is how it is, and I feel how I do about her. Yeah she may be ok now but that changes nothing."

"Understandable Soph. You need food around about now"

"I ate a whole 5 hours ago" I huffed.

"You need food. Whats Jay got in?"

"Chicken, rice, pizza or we can trek McDonalds because i'm feeling a big mac right now" I suggested and he shrugged and got up.

•••

"That was as good as sex" Marshall grinned.

"You've had some very shit sex then" I burst out laughing in the middle of the street. It got to the point I had to stop just to calm down. Man I love him, he always has some way to make me laugh, even if it is unintentionally.

We eventually carried on walking as my breathing returned to it's normal pace. Then I saw Marshall's lips form into a grin and he looked down at me.

"I've had some pretty decent sex" Again I just burst out laughing.

"Yeah i'm pretty decent" I laughed. Tears rolled down my eyes from laughing so hard. Marshall stood shocked at how I reacted which again made me laugh more.

"Em? That you?" I heard a familiar voice say. "Soph?" He gasped and ran and pulled me into a hug.

"Hey Blake" I laughed.

"You what's chilling fuzz? Yo Halstead let us chill at his tonight want to come round?" Marshall asked.

"Yeah man, need to chill with this little bitch a bit"

"Actually, I want to go and see Antonio"

"Sophie, no!" Marshall huffed.

"Marshall, I need to see him"

"Let us come with then?" Marshall suggested.

"Fine" I shrugged and we made our way to Antonio's"