Tethered

8: A Gentle Understanding

You felt the ghost of him beside you like an echo as you did every morning and night. The ceiling of the cell was black, the absence of light swallowing it up.

You couldn't stop thinking about him, about what you'd seen and felt. The blue and green clashing together, the wild look in a stranger's eyes as he tried to murder your teacher. The panic in Kylo's heart and pure instinct that kicked in. The desperate cry of "Ben!"

Ben...

Was "Ben" another name Kylo had had at one point? Was it his worst fear-who he'd been?

You hadn't meant to go that far, it had just happened. One minute you were learning how to force your way into his mind and learning, and the next you had done a very bad thing. You'd tried to pull out of his head, but you were trapped in his memory. You couldn't get out, not even as the ceiling caved in. But then the memory changed and you were staring at a datapad that had your number on it.

And then he was gone.

For two weeks you've been tracking him, wondering when he would come back. He never even came close. You watched him go from meeting to meeting and even to training, feeling the agitation rolling off him in waves as he destroyed training dummies with the harsh blade of a lightsaber.

He was violent and powerful, getting rid of all sorts of pent up energy. You knew he knew you were there. His energy responded to yours in a way that it only did when he was aware of your presence.

You wished you could leave him alone for even a moment. You felt guilty for pushing him so far and for intruding on something you were never meant to see. If you could give him a moment of peace, you felt like it would help him forgive you.

But you couldn't.

And so you lay on your thin mat in the night, trying to ignore the phantom body beside you.

He was in his quarters, according to your feelings, probably lying down for bed. You didn't know if he was asleep or not, but you figured that, if you went to sleep, you might be able to give him that peace when your mind powered down.

Sleep... Yes, sleep sounded good.

You turned on your side and closed your eyes, willing yourself to slip off into a dream.

When you opened them maybe a half-hour, you weren't in your cell anymore. No, you were in your happy place. The meadow was alive as you sat up, the grass tickling your toes and the dirt caking the bottom of your feet and hands. You felt energy moving around you, comforting you, holding you. It was the Force, you realized. It held you close even in your dream, keeping you tight in its embrace and filling you with warmth.

You closed your eyes again and let out a satisfied sigh. This was what you needed and you were glad that your mind brought you here. Dream or not, this was home.

"You're here again," an even voice spoke from beside you.

You leaped out of your skin, your eyes shooting open and your head snapping to the side to see who had broken your silence and peace.

The dream-Kylo had abandoned his robes and formal attire, only sporting a simple black shirt that hugged his torso and a pair of cuffed, black sweatpants. His hair framed his face in loose waves and those brown eyes of his traced your face. His lips betrayed neither smile nor frown as he watched you and gave you no indication of his mood. However, he did seem slightly annoyed to be at your side in this which was very Kylo of him.

You gaped at him, eyes wide with confusion. "Wh-What? You... You're not supposed to be here."

He simply scoffed. "And yet it seems you've brought me here."