Downward Spiral (Izuocha)

Chapter 48 Origins

Izuku P.O.V.

I knocked on the door a bit excited, wanting to tell Ms Joke of my recent improvements with blackwhip. Even after yesterday with the pillars and today repeating the progress to latch onto some trees in the early morning, I still couldn't believe that I managed to do those things. She opened the door and as soon as she looked at me, she gave one of her huge smiles that seemed to light up the world. "Well hello Izuku, you seem like you are looking forward to today's session." She let me through and waited for her to sit down on her seat while she prepared herself. "Sooo, Eraser told me of your development with your new power. That's great! I also have to thank you, it's the first time I've seen him smile a small bit next to me." I felt a bit odd knowing that mister Aizawa never smiled unless he had some sadistic desire behind him and then my face reddened remembering the praise I had received from the pro heroine. 'I still can't believe Ms Joke is my therapist. When did it all go right?' "Y-yeah, I m-managed to use a new power in control, unlike the first time it appeared about a month ago."

She smiled and looked at me but as her words progressed she took a more somber look. "That's right, Aizawa told me. And although it's great to look forward and our accomplishments now, we still need to look back and accept. So, if you want to today, I want you to tell me a few anecdotes of your past." It wasn't an easy decision and had to think thoroughly about it for some time and came up with the best conclusion. "I-I'll have to do it at some point, so let's do it now before it's late." She nodded while keeping the somber look, giving the rooma new sense of tension as the next things that would come out of my mouth could not be taken in lightly. "Okay Izuku, can you give me a beginning? A day you regret ever since?" It was an easy date to chose in that question, they everything went downhill. "You know I told you about the day the doctor gave me the news, b-but something else happened that day. I-I went to my room to watch an All Might video and then asked my mom if I could b-be a hero. All she d-did was apologize."

She wrote down her notes, her face scrunching up a little when I told her about what my mom said but then dismissing it and continuing with the session. "And ever since that day, how was your relationship with your mother?" "I-it wasn-t the best. We didn't speak much and I didn't tell her what went on at school. She just treated my wounds when I came injured or crying." Once again she scrunched up her face, much more prominent this time, probably thinking of the unfairness of being treated in such a way by something I couldn't even control. "Would you mind telling me of a situation where you were wounded?" There were many to pick from considering the large amount of experiences that made me either Kacchan or someone else's punching bag. "T-there w-was this one time when I had to make a presentation of w-what I wanted to be when I was older. I t-think I was around eight at the time. In the presentation I said I would b-be the first quirkless h-hero. The teacher didn't pay much attention and the presentation seemed to anger some classmates. After class, they ganged up on me outside the school. The teacher saw me...... he did nothing."

She rubbed her temples after writing down the her thoughts on her pad, probably from frustration about the final revelation. Aizawa had told us about a few of the unfairness in the world, but he never mentioned some of the more prominent ones in our hero filled society. "Izuku, did you ever try and defend yourself? Train? Or just punch them in the face? Especially the teacher...." I remembered that Ms Joke was a teacher too, so that's why she probably felt so disgusted with the idea of such teachers that would take no action in that situation. "N-no, I c-couldn't train because I didn't have a proper diet and when I tried to escape o-or fight back, it just got worse. E-eventually, i-if I just took it head on they would get bored and leave earlier." She shook her head, probably disappointed in either society or me, there was no telling unless I sneaked a peek at her notepad. "I don't ever want to know what happened to your diet. If it was bullying or you were just too anxious both stem from the same problem and people."

I just nodded at that statement, knowing it was actually both as I remembered the lunches that got stolen or the time I spent crunched up next to a toilet. "Izuku, the next thing I'll ask you can choose not to answer. Do you know when you had your first thought of wanting to.... leave this world." I was hesitant to be sure, but I knew of the first time I had considered it and there was too much time left and I was already in too deep. Taking a deep breath and steeling my nerves before answering a question that even she could regret asking. "I don't remember the exact day but it was when I was twelve. School had finished and when I went to get my shoes from my locker, a pink note came out that said that a girl I didn't know wanted to meet me at the nearby cafe. I was hesitant to go, knowing it could possibly be a trap but thought it couldn't be that bad. As I was reaching the place, I was thrown into an alleyway and that's where they intercepted me and did what they wanted. The last thing he told me was that a quirkless could never be a hero and that I should just give up and it'd be better if I were dead."

I paused, feeling a shiver travel down my spine as I had purposefully decided not to call the ash blonde's name and remembering what happened afterwards. "I walked home with a limp, no one gave me a small glance on the way. When I arrived home I was alone and I headed to my room were the window was open. I looked down, feeling overwhelmed with what had happened before and thinking just how easy it would be to lean forward a bit too much. When I heard the door open and my mom yell my name I fell back and, since then, I haven't opened the blinds of that window." She just looked at me with worry and regret in her eyes with probably many thoughts through her mind. No hero saved me that day and no hero would have if I had stepped a bit closer or leaned a bit further. "Izuku I...... I'm sorry. Just how much did you go through?"

'Too much'

So that's three outa five and ngl, that hurt to write.

(Some inspiration from MizuTori. I'll say it before someone wants to try and expose me.)