The girl with bulimia (Nash grier fanfic) *May Trigger*

Chapter 25

Sorry about the song wattpad kept saying stuff was invalid I git pissed off so I found this and it worked

Nash pov
When I came up to the room honestly I wanted to say she was an attention whore but I couldn't if I wanted my plan to work. but then apart of me was scared that maybe I lost her but I pushed it aside. my evil hatred thoughts of her came back. As soon as Matt opened the door and we saw her on the ground I wanted to laugh out loud but I dodnt. I wanted to yell pathetic and say we should leave her. but I didn't for the sake of my plan. when we got to the hospital I put on a fake distraught shaken up bit to make them believe me. I went home and just laughed mentally at her. she so week and worthless and deserve for talking about me and hurting me. but then apart me aches for her and the pain she goes through but I can't let that get in the way.

Malina pov

4 hours in a dark sleep no dreamsnothing. Just pitch black darkness. I dtart to hear people talking some crying. I feel someone holding my hand. I try to open my eyes but its so hard. It feels like im trying to lift a thousand bricks. I try so hard. They slowly start to open. I look around a little to get my vision from being blurry. I look to the side and see I have two tubes in my arm. I look down and see the heart monitor conncted to my chest. "Shes awake." I hear kilani says. Then it hits me im.in the hospital. "W-why am I here?" I ask as my voice cracks a little from being dry. "You pass out after basically throwing up your insides." Matt says. I look and see hes the one holding my hand. I avert my eyes to the bed so I won't have to look at his dull heart eyes. "Wheres nash?" I ask. "He couldnt handle seeing you lsy there basically broke down so we told him go home." Cameron says. "Mom and dad?" I ask "they had to go to work they couldnt get off." Kilani says. "Oh." I say. "You have to stay here till tuesday night." Kilani says. "Oh." I say not knowing what to say. "You have daily pills and also a group every thursday when we arent on tour." Gilinsky says. "Ok." I say. "We saw what katrina did we know thats why you did what you did." Shawn says. "Oh you do." I say. "Yeah." He says. "We saw how some of the fans treat you." Taylor says. "Why didnt you tell us." Johnson says. "I dont know." I say. "Your heart rate is irregular and so is your blood pressure" Matt blurts out. "Oh." I say looking down messing with my fingers. I sigh and dont look at them. Then lunch lady comes in with my package that hooks up to one of my tubes and sets it up. Everyone watches. As I finish feeling horrible and wanting to throw up I look at the bathroom. "You have set bathroom times so they can assure you dont throw up." Kilani says. "Ok." Is all I say now feeling anxious. "They also have you under suicide watch becuase of your cuts." Shawn says. I just nod my head. I look at my one wrist with the six cuts. "I thought you stopped that." Matt says. "I did but I started again becuase of katrina." I say. Soon the other guys leave and its just kilani shawn matt and I. They walk over and just hug me. I hug back andjust start crying. "I-I m-myself I ruin e-everything I-I deserve this." I cry .
"Lina no you don't nobody does and Katrina is the one who deserve this hell." Matt says and tears come to his eyes. I reach to wipe them away. I look and see Shawn holding Kilani in his arms as she silently cries. "c-can I have a minute by m-myself." I say running my hands through my hair out of frustration. "sure." Shawn says as they leave. I sit in my room by myself I grab the crutches the hospital let me borrow and help my self into my wheel chair and think. I soon end up on the couch. I tap my finger on my thigh out of a habit trying to get through not being able to go into the bathroom. what if I can just throw up in the garbage. ughh to obvious. soon I get frustrated and throw the bears and stuff I get and let out a cry of fustration. I hate myself and my life. I go back into my bed. but as I got comfortable the nurse comes back to see put stuff into my feeding to and iv. "is this necessary miss?" I ask. "Yes we know you will refuse to eat so this is the only way." she says bavk. I sigh and lay back as I "eat". I look at my wrist and trace over my 6 scars over and over until someone walks into the room. I look up and see Nash. I sigh of relief. he rushes over to my bed and hugs me. I hug back. "I'm glad your ok." he says. "I'm glad you didn't leave me." I say. "you have to stop." he says. I let go of his hug and look away to try not to cry. but I end up failing. "I can't Nash you don't get it nobody does ok and it's the truth yeah I'm the girl who is "crazy" who will kill herself who starves herself do you think I want this because I don't honestly but I can't help it that it's happening to me, me of all the people in the world." I say as I cry and express how I feel. I her a muffled cry and look to Nash. he looked so vulnerable. "im sorry you have to go through this I'm sorry I can't understand what your going through I just want you as my girlfriend to get better I don't know how hard it is for you and I'm sorry." he says. i don't know what to say so I just sit there. "s-stay with me tonight." I say. nash nods and gets into the hospital bed with me. "I love you and would hate to lose you." he says. I'm taken back by his choice of words because love is such a strong word. "I love you too." I say. he kisses my forehead. I know that honestly I might never get better. there's is a matter of time before I break again.
Soon I hear Nash snoring so I open the drawer that my parents out my struff in and grab my laptop to see what has happened. I open it and pull up twitter I go to Katrina page.
"The little fat ass tried killing herself no one would care she's basically a figment of our imagination that will just disappear."
"I wish it worked I wish that Laredo was gone I know I wouldn't have nightmares at night."
Were two of her many post. I didn't know it but tears were starting to fall silently. I go to the post Matt made and it just got worse.
"Gosh I was hoping she wouldn't wake up.
"Why didn't the fat ass cut herself at least she would have died."
"Who wants to hear about your ugly wanna be you twin.
"It will do the fandom great justice if she was gone permenantly."
"Should have shoves sleeping pills down your throat."
Those were half of the "heartfelt" comments that were left.
I run my hand through my hair out of habit I try my hardest to take it in.
But soon it felt like I couldn't breath. My chest became tight and I lost it again. out of anxiety and pressure I pulled out the Iv heart monitor and feeding tube and they started going off I grab my crutches and rush out the room. soon nurse where coming after me I was going so fast that my crutch lost grip slipped from under me and I fell to the ground in fetal position crying. "I can't I can't I can't do it anymore it's to much I hate myself." I cry over and over. I feel someone pick me up and rishon me back to my room and set me on my bed and the nurse hook me back up to my machine. I just sit there and cry. "are you okay." one of the nurses ask. "does it look like I am you fan tell in not stop asking me and leave me alone!!!!!" I shout back crying and the nurses leave. I feel someone hug me and I know it's Nash. I cry I to him. I'm so broke and no one can fix me all I can do is fake a smile and eventually break whole and try to enjoy the good I have when in retrospect I'm going through hell and always will be even though I have the good in my life
Because I always crash and breakdown if that makes any since.