I couldn’t remember how I had gotten there? Where was I anyway? My clothes were soaked and reeds clung to them, my lungs were burning, my eyes swollen as if I had been crying. Had I, But why? It was me and my brother; we were by the creek. I looked around, no he wasn’t there. I couldn’t see him anywhere. In fact I couldn’t see anything; the sky was oil with specs of light, and the lake in which I half laid In, was cold and thick like mud. A layer of late night fog drifted over the grass, surrounding every tree in the forest. Why had we come here? I was 10, why would Samuel bring me out here? I sat up and pain shot right through me, causing my sickly pale body to quiver. I needed to find Samuel, my mother was probably looking for us and would be furious is we were not home. It was hard though, I wasn’t thinking straight, my mind was foggy, unable to proses my surroundings or events that led up to this. I stood up, leaning against a tree so I didn’t fall. My blond curls were matted t my face, my blue eyes now rimmed with tears. I forced what little strength I had left in my skinny legs to walk, I trekked up the side of the river calling over the sound of the rapids.
“Samuel! Samuel! Where are you!?” I walked for hours calling till my throat was soar, my body finally giving in and dropping to the dirt. I rolled on my back, closing my eyes trying to recall the events of the day that lead me here.
6 hours earlier:
“Samuel!”
“What mom!”
“I need you to walk Kean to his friend’s house”
“Why! He’s 10 he can walk himself”
“Samuel I don’t want anything happening to him so just walk him ok?”
“Aye, fine, sure thing” he said, not having the energy to pick a fight he would never win. I walked out the door with my favourite Pokémon shirt, which was one of Samuels’s old shirts. I tried to like everything or almost everything he liked. He was my brother, my hero, my role model, and I loved him. Not just because he was family and I felt it was an obligation at the time, I seriously respected him. We walked down a long row of houses, at the end it branched off to a main street and the forest trails.
“Common this ways faster Kean” Samuel said. I couldn’t tell whether he was unsure or not, he was too confident. I walked behind him, studying the back of his close cropped and gelled blond hair. I wanted to get my hair cut and gelled to but my mother had said it was different, “Samuel is in high school, he has more freedom, wait till your his age then you can do the same.” I thought she was being ridiculous, I wanted to be like Samuel. A couple of guys were on the trail ahead of us. I recognized them; they were all a year older than Samuel. I saw them once when Samuel was coming home from school, the yelled at him and called him names I didn’t understand, like ‘queer’ and ‘homo’. They beat him up bad; when he came inside he made me promise not to tell, he told mom he tripped and fell. I saw him tense up as we approached.
“Stay close to me Kean, ok?”
“Ya Ok” I replied. I was the first time I had ever seen my brother genuinely afraid, except for when I was carrying sharp objects, or standing on high places. We passed by and one of the guys turned around, nailing my brother in the stomach with his fist.
“Thought I told you to stay away from me homo” he spat.
Samuel gave me a look of concern and sadness.
“Kean I need you to run okay?” he said. The other guys started approaching. I clung to Samuels arm and shook my head. I was afraid; I didn’t want to leave him. The other guys pull Samuel to his feet and hit him again, and again, and again, while another held me back. I remember crying, unable to stop. Samuels face was bleeding, covered in cuts and bruises, his body going limp. I wriggle and broke away from the guy holding me; I was inches away from my brother when something hit my head. I fell to the ground my eyes beginning to close; the last thing I saw was the shadowy outline of a smile on Samuels’s lips before I blacked out.
Present:
I jolt awake; someone is shaking me and yelling.
“Kean! Oh God, Kean wake up!” it’s my father. I must have fallen asleep, I open my eyes, and his are full of tears. He hugs me saying thank God over and over. There are sirens and lights. I am lifted onto a stretcher. I see a blur of face but hear nothing. I feel tired and useless, my whole body numb. All I can think is where is Samuel? Then I see him, a few meters from where I was, being dragged from the river. My heart hurts, my stomach drops. Is he dead? Is all I can think. He is put on a separate stretcher, an air mask put over his mouth. I’m screaming for him, to see my hero all torn up, I’m crying. The doctors are holding me down but I’m thrashing too much, I need to know if he is alive. They finally bring our stretchers closer together so I can reach out and touch him; I feel his heart beat through my hand, he’s alive. I pull away my hand, letting out a cry of joy. Samuels’s eyes flutter open and he looks at me. A smile crosses his face as he reaches up to ruffle my hair. With his other hand he removed his air mask.
“I’d never let them get rid of me so easily” he says to me.
“I need you to promise me something, as a brother” I say, keeping my lip from quivering.
“Anything” he replies.
“Never change” I say.
“Not a chance.” Now I know what those boys said to him, and what it meant. He never did change; it made me look up to him that much more. Someday I will be just like him.
