The Smiley Face Killer

Profiling

Detective Schlatt shuffled through the evidence. He sighed and put his hands down on the table. "Listen, Niki-" "Nikita." "Nikita. I retired a long time ago, I can profile this guy, but I have no idea how you found me, and I won't help past there. Also, tell your associate to stop stealing my mints." Tommy shoved more mints into his pockets, and mumbles through his mouth full. "Never! What you gonna do, arrest me?" "Yes." He pulls out some handcuffs. Tommy starts laughing and choking on his mints. "Anyways," Schlatt takes a sip of his "coffee". And sighs. A small-ish ball of energy comes careening down the stairs. Tommy turns around, seeing a fluffy haired imbecile he recognized. He spits his mints into a plastic trash can. "TOBY!" "Tommy?" They ran up to each other and hugged. "Nice to see you!" Says Toby. "You too! I didn't know your dad was an ex cop!" "Detective." Says Schlatt. "What ever." Says Tommy. Niki sighs. "How do you know each other?" They laugh nervously. "We're uh. Friends." Schlatt roles his eyes. "Sure 'ya are buddy." He takes another sip of his "coffee". "Anyways- the killer used an axe, correct?" "Sometimes, whatever's on hand." "Like to Axeman? Also that was a leaning question." Yells Tommy across the room. "Yep. Also, this isn't a fucking court, child." Says Schlatt. "Actually, he is somewhat of a copycat. His killings and letters to police are reminiscent of the Axeman of New Orleans. But his MO is different. He leaves smiley faces on his letters to police, and wears a mask with a smile on it. The one witness testimony we have is from an unreliable witness, however." "MY BROTHER ISN'T UNRELIABLE!" Yells Tommy, again, across the room. "He set a house on fire and is a suspected serial arsonist." "So?" Schlatt sighs. "He's in his early to mid 20's. He's male, white, somewhat attractive, tall and/or strong and well educated. He's cocky and sees himself as above other killers. He's also probably gay, considering he doesn't assault female victims bodies." "What does he do to male bodies?" Asked Niki, slightly terrified. "Formerly we thought he cut their genitals off, but it seems he only did it to the sexual predators. He has also left a bag of genitals on the doorstep of the FPD. And not from the bodies he killed." "So it's like, a revenge thing?" Asked Niki. "Maybe, either that or it's sexual. He may be truly more depraved than we expect." "You said he fancies himself above other killers?" "Yes." "Then why would he perform genitial mutilation for sexual reasons?" "Killers aren't known for their moral compasses." Niki wonders if she should keep pushing it. "But..." "I'm done, go." He hands her some papers. Niki sighs and walks out, glaceing upstairs to see Tommy and Toby chatting on the stairs. "You coming?" "Nope!" Says Tommy. "Alright, I'll get some coffee, let me know when you two are done with your date. This took less time than we expected, so we have time."

Name:
Aliases: Dream, The Smiley Face Killer, :)
Birthday:
Height: 6'-6'5
Weight:
Eyes: light, one white with a large scar across it
Hair: blonde, chin length
Education: high school
Wanted for: homicide (first degree), several counts. Desecration of a human corpse, several counts. Breaking and entering, one count. Voluntary manslaughter, unknown how many counts, at least one.