a different ending

gideon and i didn't intend to stay long after the play was over, yet here we are, lingering in the dispersing audience. we stay in our seats near the back as everyone begins to make their way out of the auditorium, watching the cast and crew begin cleaning up their sets.

the play was really wonderful, even the part about me. i understand why tiny added me in there, as much as it hurt me to listen. tiny wanted to feel appreciated, and though i've only known in for less than two months, i get that now, and i understand it more than i did that day we broke up on my neighbors swing set.

i hope tiny realizes how much he means to me after tonight, even if i don't get the chance to speak to him. he just exited the stage with the other will grayson, along with jane in tow. i turn to gideon.

me: thanks for bringing me here.
gideon: of course, i know you needed it. do you feel any better about how things went down?
me: not better, but i get it. i miss him.

i look over to the stage and i watch the crew for a minute. the majority of the audience is gone now, just a few parents and friends remain.

gideon: you should go talk to him.
me: i shouldn't leave you here by yourself.
gideon: i'll be okay. this is for you, remember?

i think for a moment, though all that really does is make me feel anxious. gideon says it's fine though, and i really do want to see tiny and try to make things better than before, and as i think to myself, gideon interrupts my thoughts.

gideon: really, will, you can go.

i sigh, still not having made up my mind yet.

me: you're sure?
gideon: yeah. i'll wait outside in my car, take as long as you need.

we get up out of the auditorium seats and nod, and we head our separate ways. it takes me a minute of standing in the middle of the aisle to actually compel my feet to move forward.

i don't know the layout of this school, but even considering it's size, it doesn't look that difficult to navigate. i start walking down the aisle, bringing myself closer to the stage. there's a door by stage left, the same way tiny, the other will grayson, and jane went, so i take a chance and head that way.

upon opening the door, i discover that my feelings were correct, and i've now entered the realm of backstage that typically only students in theatre and staff walk into. i don't see tiny anywhere, just his peers, who continue to clean up the aftermath of Hold Me Closer. i begin walking around, continuing my search for tiny cooper, and no one questions my presence.

it doesn't take me long to go through every room that backstage has to offer, other than one more dressing room, which is where i think tiny will be, unless he managed to slip past me and head back out into the auditorium. the door to the final dressing room remains open, so i don't bother to knock, and i peek inside.

that's when i see the other will grayson, jane, and the man of the hour, tiny cooper. it's a sight, really. they laugh together, and it feels weird to be watching them having this moment, unbeknownst of my presence just a few yards away. my being here doesn't go completely unnoticed, as jane is the first to see me, she quiets herself and stares in my direction. that prompts the other boys to put their conversation on hold, and they, too, look my way.

i feel awkward now, unsure of what i should do from here. i should have rehearsed this in my head instead of blindly walking in, but i'm here, and i can't just go now that i hold their attention. i decide to break the ice.

me: the show was incredible. you all did amazing.

tiny smiles wide, and for a moment, i forget all the bad that's happened, because his smile, alone, it's enough to give me amnesia. it's warm and comforting, radiating hope.