Legacy (Book #2 of the Survival Series)

Chapter Seventeen

*I'm basically going to put how I feel into Juliet's character because I just don't know what else to write. This will probably be on the down side, sorry in advance.*

I woke up starring at the ceiling, a smile etched across my face, then in a flash, it was replaced with a grimaced look. Almost suddenly I felt as if the life and joy was sucked out of me. I laid still as I slowly traced the old markings on my wrists. The days when I was 15 and 16 were hard. I was the only one out of my friends who was single. They all thought I was upset because I was single, but that wasn't it at all. I was happy for each of them, I respected their relationships and boundaries, just as I should have. The thing that slowly ate me, was the fact that they were drifting away. Maybe it was me who drifted from them, I became more distant as I felt them shift towards their partners. I didn't want to get hurt again, so I decided to take the stinger out before the bee stung. A small part may have been the nagging voice in my head: "Why does nobody want to date me?" "They all think you're ugly." Things of that nature circled my brain for hours and hours on end. My friends started blaming themselves, which just made me feel worse. When your best friends think it's their fault that you're hurting, that it's entirely their fault.

Luke's hand grazed my wrist and I turned to look at him, tears starting to form in my eyes. His eyes widened as he sat up as fast as he could without hurting himself.

"What's wrong?" He asked, a tone of urgency in his voice. 'I didn't hurt you last night, did I?" I just shook my head no, afraid of the inevitable fact that if I opened my mouth to speak, I would start to bawl my eyes out. He looked me in the eyes, then his eyes wandered down to my wrists. "You can tell me what happened." He whispered. "I won't tell anyone and I certainly won't judge you, I've been through some tough situations to."

"I was 16..." I said slowly, trying to control my tears. "I was in a bad time, depression hit me like a tidal wave, I was drowning in my own misery."

"What's it like?" Luke whispered, "Depression? I want to hear what it's like so I can understand it more."

"It's drowning, but everyone around you is breathing." I whispered. "You're stuck in this mind set, this rut that tells you you're nothing, you're ugly, you're a waste of oxygen, Depression is not a sadness, it's like cancer. It's like a war, you either win, or you die trying." I looked over to Luke who's face was hard to read. "I just wanted to sleep, all the time. Because when you're asleep, you're not thinking, you're not crying, you're at peace."

"That's-that's awful..." Luke whispered, carefully taking my hand.

"I'm falling, but I'm never going to land, nobody's even there to grab me for a moment and hold me there, nobody, nothing." I started to take shorter breaths, it was getting harder to breathe.

"i'm here." He whispered moving closer to me. "I'm here to catch you, I'm here to hold you. I'm not going to say everything will turn out okay, because I don't know if it will. But I do know that as long as I'm here you'll have someone to talk to, someone who lends a shoulder to cry on, someone who truly loves and cares about you."

"how can you even say you love me?" I asked, "We've known each other for such little time and you already love me. I love you because I fell in love with the boy on stage, the boy off stage, the boy with the big heart and height. Why, no, how could you say you love me?"

"We're the modern day Romeo and Juliet." He whispered. "Our fate is certain, but I know, I knew I loved you, just like Romeo knew he loved Juliet. If you were to die, i would lie beside you until death took me too. Love at first sight is a myth to you, I know. but to me, it's reality."