𝐸𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐿 | 𖤐 HP SERIES

⋆⑅˚₊ 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙷𝙾𝙶𝚆𝙰𝚁𝚃𝚂 𝙷𝙾𝚄𝚂𝙴𝚂 𝙰𝚂 𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙾𝚁𝚁𝙴𝙲𝚃 𝚀𝚄𝙾𝚃𝙴𝚂.

gryffindor aka the lion bitches —

+ 'do you think i'll get a higher grade in gym if i climb out of the skylight?'
+ police officer: your under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
gryffindor: wait what do you mean THREE?
officer: yes..... three.
gryffindor: oh, my god- WHAT THE FUCK!?
officer: sir?
gryffindor: RAVENCLAW FUCKING FELL OFF.
+ 'aight babe i'm in the pad isle, what size pussy you wear?'
+ 'STAY IN DRUGS EAT YOUR SCHOOL DON'T DO VEGETABLES'

hufflepuff aka THE SUPERIOR HOUSE —
(we love all houses though don't eat me!)

+ 'you gave me cookie so i gave you cookie man!'
+ hufflepuff: have you ever read something so explicit that you feel like you need to go to church and stay in there for a year?
slytherin: send it to me.
+ 'heeey.... salamiii..... hi..... GIVE ME BACK MY HAMSTER.' 
+ 'all i wanna say it schools not important, be whatever you wanna be. if you wanna be a dog WOOF you know?'

ravenclaw aka the weird fuckers —

+ 'OH YEAH YOU'VE REALLY TATTEREDMY TOTS NOW'
+ 'yes i'm aware i look like shit but i've weighed the smell: no shower ratio and i can last until tomorrow at 3:48am'
+ ravenclaw: gryff i'm cold
gryffindor, running hands through hair: WELL I CANT CHANGE THE WEATHER RAVEN
+ 'if you think things cant get worse, it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination

last but CERTAINLY not least, slytherin aka green 👁👄👁 —

+ *minor inconvenience occurs*: listen i didn't sign up for this, kill me it'll be less painful.
+ ravenclaw: *sitting and listening to the rain* i like the rain it's peaceful.
slytherin: it'll help clean up the murder.
ravenclaw: you wouldn't need the rain to clean up after you if you used an icicle as the murderer weapon.
hufflepuff: what is wrong with both of you?
+ 'haha ayo uhhh it's ya boy uhh sKinnY penis'
+ 'hey, let's all go swimming in my pool!, and by pool..... I mean bath tub, and by swimming, I mean [SEX]'

all of them —

+ slytherin: how do i tell someone i want to hit their face with a brick several times?
ravenclaw: one would wish to acquaint your facial structure with a rigidly edged object fundamentally used in the construction of walls repeatedly.
slytherin: that was poetry.
hufflepuff: that was a cry for therapy for both of you.
gryffindor: *speeds off because he knows slytherin was talking about him*
+ gryff: [SCREAMING]
sly, establishing dominance: [SCREAMS BACK LOUDER]
+ 'if two plus two is four and five plus five is ten... what the fuck is THIS?'
+ *hogwarts going through ANOTHER fucking battle*
the houses: oh lordt AGAIN? afuckinggain. NOTHING NEW NOTHING CHANGED SAME OLD SHIT SAME OLD FUCKIN' SHIT.
+ 'ketchup is a god damn smoothie, you can't disagree with pure facts so fuck you that what.'

EXTRA: WHAT THE HOUSE LOOK LIKE FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.

gryffinwhores