Guilt

 A small side story to The Cookout by @AvoreahPromise

 ***

Mel walked in the house and kicked off her shoes on the way to the living room. As she flopped down on the couch she heard an agitated huff behind her.

"Must you always leave a messy path in your wake? It's not hard to take your shoes off neatly at the door...," she heard him say as she watched him pick up her shoes and line them up neatly beside his.

"If I did that then you wouldn't have anything to complain about, and you know how much I love it when you're grumpy," she said, grinning as she stretched her arms out, beckoning him to come hug her.

Scowling slightly, he obliged her like he always did. "You're impossible," he stated as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"And you're adorable, " she replied, giggling as she dropped a quick peck on his lips.

Another huff, but Mel could see the small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

Mel grinned and pulled him down beside her. She laid her head in the Quincy's lap. Gazing up at him, she noticed how tired he looked. Uryu worked himself too hard. If he wasn't saving lives at the local hospital (that he partly owned), he was saving lives already departed from the hollows that terrorized them. She knew he was running on limited sleep, he had pulled an all-nighter at the hospital, yet insisted he go with her to the cookout.

And she knew why. Because HE was going to be there.

Sosuke Aizen- ever a point of contention in their otherwise peaceful, albeit lonely marriage. With Uryu's work obligations he was gone a lot, and Mel was often left alone to entertain herself. Missing the attention and affection she craved, she was easily led astray by Sosuke's soft voice and mysterious manner. He intrigued her, seduced her, and on more than one occasion, hurt her. Yet she couldn't give him up. There was something she saw in him that pulled at her heart. Something small and delicate, crying out for help from his very guarded and lonely soul. She wanted to nurture it and help it grow. Maybe, just maybe if she did, he would become a kinder person? Make friends? Become a less destructive member of society? At least that's what she told herself... in reality he was just a really, really, good lay and she was super bored.

'UGH I'm horrible,' she thought to herself as the guilt hit her full force in the chest.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered as tears welled up in her eyes. Uryu didn't hear her, though. His head was down, glasses precariously on the end of his perfect nose, sound asleep. She sat up quietly so she wouldn't wake him. Kneeling, she gently removed his glasses and sat them on the side table. She laid him down on the couch and grabbed a blanket off a nearby armchair to cover him. Brushing his hair back from his face, she planted a soft kiss on his cheek and turned out the light so he could sleep.

"You deserve better than me," she said quietly into the dark as a tear slid down her face.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Startled, she pulled it out and glared at the screen. Sosuke. She stood silently as it rang, finger hesitating as she pondered over what to say to him. It would be nothing good. She was angry at the bullshit he stirred up today. After she had asked her friends to invite him! So stupid! She wasn't aware of what exactly happened, but she had never witnessed Ina that upset before. He and Ina usually got along (at least more than he did with some of her other friends), but something major went down today that set her off. Mel had walked in on complete chaos. Ina, in a total rage, going after Sosuke with a murderous glint in her eyes over some rumor or secret he let slip? Unfortunately, Mel had no doubt that Sosuke was at the center of it all. He always was. She was curious as to what happened, and she knew he would tell her if she asked, but did she really want to hear it? No. Not from him. Who's to say he would tell her the truth, anyway? Ina would tell her and if she couldn't, Zoe would. Although, Mel knew that if she had to hear it from Zoe, she'd also have to hear the slander Zoe vehemently tossed on Sosuke's name all the time. Mel shrugged, "This time you probably deserve it, Sosuke," she said to the phone as she rejected the call.

After waiting a moment to make sure he didn't call back, she sighed and punched in Zoe's number.

"Hey, it's me... Catch me up."

Mel pulled the phone away from her ear as Zoe's angry voice screamed expletives about Sosuke... and his poor unknown mother.

About two hours later Mel was all caught up. She had also developed a headache from information overload and the lecture she got from her friend about how Sosuke is bad news. Mel knew that. She did. However, Sosuke is a dangerously sexy threat that's hard to ignore, much less give up... even Zoe herself found that out the hard way, or so Mel had recently heard. She giggled as she thought about the irony of that whole ordeal, then quickly shook the thought away. That whole situation did not end well and feelings were still hurt. Emotions were still raw... and now this?!

Ina. That's what she needed to focus on right now. She's hurting, and Mel was very aware of what that specific kind of hurt felt like. Knowing your actions hurt someone you truly care about. 'The guilt eats away at you,' Mel thought, 'leaves you hollow, or... has a hollow leave you... in Ina's specific case...' Mel winced at the thought and lightly smacked herself in the face. "Now isn't the time for bad jokes... get it together, Mel, damn," she reprimanded herself out loud.

"Mom? Who are you talking to?"

Mel spun on her heel to see her son, Soken, standing in the hallway. He's grown so much. Now 8, he looked so very much like his father. Piercing blue eyes with messy bedhead and one leg of his pajama pants rolled up to his knee.

"Hey Sleepyhead, gotta pee?" she asked him.

"NO! I just heard you talking. Everything okay? It's late..." he said, yawning.

"Yes, everything is fine. I was just talking to Aunt Zoe," she said as she waved her phone. "You can go on back to bed. Sorry I woke you."

She hugged him and watched him walk back to his room. A new wave of guilt hit her like a ton of bricks. What was she doing?! She has a wonderful husband who works hard, an adorable son. Her phone vibrated again. Jumping, she answered it and immediately regretted not checking the ID first.

"Are you dodging my calls now, 'Lissa?" The low, seductive voice said from the other side. She hated that nickname, always had, but when he said it in his low tone it always gave her goosebumps.

"I'm done. You've done too much damage this time. You hurt my friends and by doing so hurt me. You've gone way too far," she said. "I need to distance myself from you before you cause anymore pain to me or my friends."

A chuckle from the other side made her blood run cold.

"We both know that's not true. You've never turned me away before... I don't expect you'll be doing so now. Don't you think I still need saving," he said, rather amused.

She felt the heat of anger and embarrassment rise to her cheeks, but she couldn't let him get under her skin. She had to stay calm.

"You're wrong this time, Sosuke. I mean it, I'm done. I want to work on my marriage. Repair the damage you've done. That I- I've done. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I love him and he can give me what you can't..."

Another chuckle, louder this time. "Oh, can he? What is it that the twig in glasses can give you that I cannot? I seem to recall giving you plenty of..."

"Love," she replied softly, cutting him off. "Goodbye, Sosuke."

She didn't give him a chance to reply before she ended the call. Her phone immediately vibrated again, but it was just a text that read:

Goodbye, 'Lissa. For now. *wink*

                                            First attempt. Thanks for reading!