A Love Not Worth My Time

The Call

"You ever fallen for someone you know will never love you?" I was lying in bed, looking up at the white and blue stars projected onto the ceiling.

"Hmm?" His voice was tiny and metallic, the result of the phone and earbuds.

"You know like really fallen. And not like a celebrity crush type of thing but someone you actually know."

"I don't know."

"Of course."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I heard him shift in his bed, probably sitting up.

"You're perfect. You don't have to worry about the person you like not liking you back."

He scoffed. "I am not perfect."

"Yes you are! Nobody looks at you and mutters slurs and nobody makes derogatory comments when you open your mouth. Nobody stares at the pins on your backpack or dumps water on the seven page essay you spent over a week hand writing. You are so lucky."

He was quiet on the other end. I wondered if he had fallen asleep or ditched his phone. I closed my eyes, thinking. Nearly twelve minutes of silence went by before he spoke.

"I'm sorry that people do that." He said this so quietly I thought it was just my imagination. I opened my eyes.

"It's okay. That's just life." I sighed, feeling the tightness of my binder with my fingers. I wasn't supposed to wear it to sleep but I couldn't help myself.

"That's not just life. That's people being jerks." He was silent for a moment. "And yes I do."

"What?"

"I do have to worry about the person I like not liking me back."

"What are you talking about? All the girls at school are head over heels in love with you."

"They may be...but he isn't."

My breath hitched. "He?" I smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, he."

"Who is he?" I asked this hopefully. The fire of my love for this boy growing as he whispered:

"You know him. He's short and his eyes are like the clearest green I think I ever saw. His hair is so dark, but his smile lights me up from across the room. He says he's not perfect but to me he is the most perfect."

My heart was beating so hard, I was positive he could hear it. "What?" I breathed.

He chuckled softly, "You're perfect."

"You mean you? You...?"

"Yeah I do. Like, a lot. Like so much it hurts my heart every time I see you cry, but I can't do anything about it. Because I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified. But I do. Like you. Maybe even love you, I don't know yet."

"Wow."

"Oh God that was a lot wasn't it? I'm sorry. Oh no. I'm sorry."

He disconnected.

That idiot disconnected.