Xue Yang and Xingchen kept dancing, back and forth, moving from side to side, they felt the music, they felt the rhythm and they let go of their consciousness. Xue Yang was the dominant one, since Xingchen didn't know how to dance, and always guided him to move where he needed to, and Xingchen... he let Xue Yang control him, without paying attention of their surroundings or anything that was happening, in this moment it was only them, dancing in the middle of nowhere.
"I like this" Xingchen smiled and even though he couldn't see Xue Yang, Xingchen knew he was looking at him, he felt his breath and his face was so close to his it made him feel a bunch of different emotions at once.
"I'm glad you do"
And they kept dancing and dancing...
Xue Yang smiled. For the first time in his life Xue Yang smiled because of happiness, although he didn't know it was happiness, because he never felt it, he never had anything to make him happy, he was a killer machine, he was hungry for revenge ever since he was a child, and he never had anyone to make him happy. But Xingchen had made him happy, Xingchen made him smile, and he hated it...
Xue Yang wanted to stop dancing, he wanted to stop that feeling, and he wanted to escape. But he couldn't.
Instead he hugged Xingchen, he hugged someone for the first time, and he didn't want to let go ever.
"What's wrong?" Xingchen felt him hugging him tightly, he was worried if he was hurt or if his wounds were bleeding again, he didn't want him to be in pain again.
"..." Xue Yang knew that if he talked right now his real voice would let Xingchen recognize him, he was crying, and he wasn't ready for that to happen yet, but he wanted to cry, he wanted to plea, he wanted to say sorry to Xingchen for all the terrible things he's done to him... he gave up and decided to talk, he couldn't keep the bottle up of emotions he had in his heart in this moment,
"Im sorry... I'm so sorry
Please forgive me"
And Xingchen, It didn't take him a minute to register the voice, since this voice was never forgotten, it was stored deeply in his heart, a memory that he wished to never remember again. But here he is, listening to that voice again, and realizing for the first time what he has done. He started to cry.
Xingchen wanted to detach himself from Xue Yang, he used all his strength, but he couldn't, Xue Yang had his embrace on Xingchen so tight that Xingchen had no other option than to stay there.
"Get off"
"No"
"...why"
Xue Yang and Xingchen stayed like that, crying and hugging, for a long while. They couldn't speak, they couldn't fight, they were stuck because they didn't know what to do. Until after a few minutes Xue Yang decided to let go, scared of what might happen next.
Slowly, Xue Yang let Xingchen go, and Xingchen immediately took 5 steps back, away from Xue Yang.
"Stay there, do not come near me now, I am afraid I will kill you if you do"
"Yes" Xue Yang was quiet, he didn't want to scare him, and so he obeyed. Whatever it was that Xingchen wants, he will do it.
"Why, why did you do this, why are you here, why me, just... why?" Xingchen was crying, he was shaking, he couldn't believe the person that he's been staying with the last few years has been the person he hates the most, that he's supposed to hate the most. He wanted an explanation.
And so Xue Yang gave him an answer.
"You know, I didn't plan for this to happen, if you didn't save me back then when I was in my last breaths, I wouldn't be alive right now, and you wouldn't have had to live with me..."
