He was my drug. I remember reading once that being in love is like a drug. It can become an addiction that swallows you up from the inside out. The amount of love I have for one boy is unbearable. He's my sunshine, the love of my life, and I've never wanted anything more. The feeling I get whenever he caresses my face and kisses me is unlike any other and I am thankful for him each and every day. When his body is pressed against mine, I feel nothing but happiness and I swear I do not need anybody besides him. The way he calls me baby melts my heart and I thank God for him. Although our relationship may appear perfect, it's sadly not. His words tear me apart, so how could I love a boy who makes me hate myself more and more each day? He holds a special place in my heart, or I wouldnt be going back to him. Lets face it, I am a bitch. I literally hate most people and I don't use the word "love" to describe my feelings towards them either. I've only told two guys that I loved them- and I meant it to both. I got over this kid named Logan because I eventually noticed how bad he was to me mentally and physically. He was toxic. But Trey? Gosh, I love him with everything in me. And why, you may ask? Hell if I know. I hate myself because I love him more than I love my own body and soul. I would drop dead right now for him. Anyone on gods green earth can tell me, "He's mean to you, he uses you for sex, and he cheats on you." But none of that makes me love him any less. I don't know why I feel the way I feel, and honestly, it's shitty. I know there are guys that are better for me out there. Time is going to have to run it's course, and if I never get over him, it's my fucking fault. I'm the dumb one then. But until anything happens, i'd appreciate it if people wouldn't try to tell me how much better I can do; trust me I know. The thing is, I don't want better, I want him..
