Why does it hurt so much to be betrayed

I had a dream.....

I woke up in terror once again in this dark forsaken room I been stuck in over the past year. I'm too afraid to step a single step outside . It seems to get worse the longer I stayed in my room. My parents stop trying to talk to me . They stop speaking, the house is full with quiet . I'm starting to despise the light as it try's to creak closer and closer to me . I run away with passion . The dark is where I been living for a while now . I feel more at home, in a sense more freedom . I notice I cannot remember the days I had before and if I ate or not today. Food hasn't been deliver to me anymore for a while now and for some reason I haven't feel the need to eat. There are only two things I can remember now . One is the light creaking from my window and the other is the weird vivid dreams I dreamt of . These dreams are always short and always seem to be filled with screams and splashes of red . It aways a blue and the voices that speak to me are muffled out . In fact it seems they are running from me . I never understood until the day I suddenly gain curiosity and creak downstairs of what it seems to be a home my parents abandon . It struck me than, my family even abandon me and left me to starve . My soul was crush even more at the thought and quickly went into rampage of anger . I flip anything and everything around me. As a final attempt of sanity being lost before their was not a single thing to refrain me from becoming savage . Than as I throw a vase I notice a shine of light in the corner . Behind the curtains was a mirror . I saw myself in the mirror for the first time in a year. To see a savage monster finally coming out of it cave was what I thought of after looking at myself . My clothes were a gown of silk that has been ripped and torn . My hair was filled with knots and has turn from the color brown hair into black from dirt . My blue eyes covered in tears of disgust of myself . While my body has shrunken 3 dress sizes from starvation . I also notice something about my house . Not a single thing has been move but no sign of life . I decided to look at my parents bedroom to see two corpse and hostage around my parents bed . Those two rotting corpses were my mother and father . I try to come closer to free the hostages but they look at me with fear and shake rapidly . One of them scream " monster don't come near me, you murder! , you satan ! ".
I than realize as all the flashbacks and memories swoop into my hand . I became savage in my own home was I who murder my parents due to pure madness and scramble for more to kill. I became too sick in the head to even notice the monster I became . That day, I kill all the hostages in a quick death. I made sure not a single hair of mines were found . I scrub the floor clean of DNA and remove the rotten flesh into countless of pieces and dispose of them like garbage at a abandon lot possibly 1000 miles away. I made sure to take a shower, burn my fingerprints, dye my hair blonde and created a fake ID . I burn one of the bodies and put on my old gown to make them believe I was also murder in the act . I decided to keep my dream alive . I had a dream once too you know and I'm not gonna go down without a fight .