Love, Drugs, and High School

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Annabelle

          When I woke up, my eyes were all puffy and red. I had cried nearly all night. There was no way that I was going to school, not looking like this.

          “Annabelle,” my uncle’s voice said as my door opened slowly. “You over slept.” When he got a good look at me, he asked, “Are you ok?”

          “I’m just not feeling good,” I mumbled, rolling over, giving my uncle the hint to go away.

          Was it bad for me to lie in bed all day and cry until there was nothing left? No one was home, so it didn’t matter to me. My chest felt like a gaping wound, one that could not be healed. I couldn’t be healed. I am a broken toy that will never be fixed.

          I wasn’t sure how long I had been sitting there, staring at the floor, praying for time to pass. Someone was knocking on my porch door, causing me to jump and come out of my daze. My shades had been shut so I wasn’t sure who it would be.

          When I opened the shades, I saw that it was Ryan, standing in front of me. His brown hair was tussled and messy and he had bags under his eyes showing his lack of sleep. His eyes bore into mine and I couldn’t pull them away.

          “Are you going to open the door or are you going to just leave me out here?” He asked with his signature smirk on his face.

          “Don’t tempt me,” I said, rolling my eyes and doubling checking that the door was locked.

          “Please,” he asked. His voice was more desperate than before. “Annabelle, we have to talk.” He said with a serious tone that made me let him in.

          “Ok,” I said, sitting on the edge of my bed. I had a t-shirt and pajama pants on, not nearly looking as presentable as I wanted to.

          “If you were smart, you would stay away from me…protect yourself from me. You don’t want to be hanging around me. You can’t gain anything from being with me, Annabelle. I can never change. I can never be who you want me to be. You will never understand my sickness. I’m a failure, Annabelle.”  Ryan said to me, his voice shaking a little.

          “You’re not a failure, Ryan! Stop-just-just stop,” I said, my voice starting to quiver. He couldn’t possibly be doing this.

          “Annabelle, I can’t do this.” He started to walk away from me, but I grabbed his shoulder. “Don’t.” He said firmly, tossing my hand off of his shoulder and leaving me standing there.

          I was in shock. I didn’t want to think about what just happened. It hurt too much.

Ryan

          When I got outside, I lit a cigarette. Why did this have to be so difficult? I asked myself.

          The image of her holding back tears was something I couldn’t get out of my head. It hurt. I didn’t want to feel pain anymore, I shouldn’t have to.

          Ring. Ring. Ring. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I answered. “Hello?” Part of me hoped that it would be Annabelle, but the other part of me knew that it wouldn’t be.

          “Ryan, I’m so glad you answered man! My brother is having a party at his apartment. All of his college friends are going to be there! It’s gonna be epic, man! You have to come!” Tommy said.

          “Tommy,” I said, trying to act causal, which was something that I had been having a hard time doing lately. “I haven’t heard from you in forever. I’ll see you at the party.” He slurred some sort of response and hung up. That was Tommy for you. He was always wasted.