Stevie sat in a small pile of blankets surrounded by the darkness and an ambiance of candles. Distracted, she had decided early in the evening to leave her bedside and search for one of many journals. Yet now here she was at 2 in the morning, paper in hand and not a word to say. Stevie was full of ideas of course, but she lacked a specific confidence when it came to placing her thoughts down tonight.
All she could think of was him, and with her musical partner fairly close by, just down the hall in fact, it almost made things difficult; like somehow documenting her feelings accused her of gossiping. She was fed up.
Despite their full reunion, including Christine for this ongoing tour, Stevie had barely spoken to Lindsey, and when the interaction had occurred it had only been mere small talk. She felt a loss of connection with him now than before, as if there was always one of them too afraid to break the ice or bring a topic to the surface, so they just left it as that; small talk. The truth was Stevie had never felt so lonely. She longed for their deep conversations and intimate moments (even questioning whether their hugs and interactions on stage were as sincere to him as they felt to her) and it was breaking her slowly. She missed everything about him, and his presence alone always sent chills down her spine since the moment she had met him.
Stevie's memories returned like a security blanket as she envisioned a much younger couple and a much simpler happiness, his dark curls caressing every angle of his face...
"Oh this is completely ridiculous!"
Coming to her senses (a little louder than necessary) she had thrown her hands up and in doing so dropped her journal to the carpet with a hollow thud. Zoning out was the last thing on her mind, yet she seemed to be doing it every five minutes. Hoping for a resolution and finding no solace in her regular hobbies, she turned to face the blank wall behind her and hoped for a sign of some sort. After a moment, (and another not-so-brief memory of a sensual embrace and a distant kiss) Stevie's soft brown eyes filled with tears and the calming ambiance soon changed to anger and frustration.
"I can't do it." She muttered quietly, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face. She felt like a child not getting her way, and that all her choices alone were the result of how her life was now. Without Lindsey. Trying to calm herself, a hand on her chest and another still holding her pen, she felt the silence deafening.
Until it was broken.
"I somehow knew I'd find you like this, Steph."
