Kalex Is Real

Words: A lot

Warnings: extreme wtfness, slight smut

Shrek AU

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Alex POV

I walk to Kimis house in the dark, cold night; rain dripping down my supprisingly straightened hair and neon yellow fleece. Kimi invited me to a party with everyone from our school. I was terrified because of what people would say about us and Kimi being together. This was the night that everything was going to change for our school.

Me and Kimi would come out as the first lesbian couple in Willoughby Middle school. People always thought that I had a cock but in accuality it was just a banana duck taped to my vagina. I wasn't proud of it but it worked and Kimi  was proud of me; us. I was about to reach out for the front door to knock while hearing the new hip song 'Domenik The Itailian Christmas Donkey' playing from inside when suddenly, Kimi comes to greet me with about hug and a lick on the belly button. "Hey babe!", she says with an excited tone. She must be happy to see me since the power and force that she put in that belly button lick meant, sex. I was excited.

 -20 minutes later-

Me and Kimi stayed in a corner hiding from people and practically pretending we weren't there. Julie came over to us looking at us with a sweet glare and half smile, "Why are you guys just in the corner? Why don't you guys go out and dance before everyone leaves? It's your party guys, what the hell.", She grabbed out hands without notice and took us into Kimis giant living room where we danced for about 40 minutes while Kimis snake DJed.

-1 hour later-

Everyone left and it was just Kimi and me alone. I thought it was time I made my move. I grabbed Kimi with my supprisingly big green hands 'what is going on' I think, I ignore it and go on.

Kimi then points out that tiny little green nubs are going out of my skull and I start to get worried. We stop caressing eachother so Kimi got a mirror and showed me my face. I was turning into a OGRE! My mind totally changes and I stare at Kimi for about 5 seconds and then start screaching and telling her to get out me swamp. She runs away crying andnd pooping everywhere and I break a hole in her wall and elegantly fly away with my fairy wings. "It's not ogre. It's never ogre."

((IM SO SORRY I ONLY MADE THIS FOR MY CLOSEST FRIENDS TO SEE DONT JUDGE ME))