More ashes than roses

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"I love you." I said as Nick smiled. "I love you too." Then he leaned in, moved my brown hair behind me ears, rubbed my cheek with his palm, and kissed me. I had my hot pink French tipped finger nails on his cheek, rubbing his cheek. The kiss was gentle and warm. I unlocked my front door and I put my face through the crack as smiled and I shut it.

Through the window I saw Nick drive away in his black Ford F-250 truck, with only his outline of his body. I walked up my wooden staircase and I felt like I was floating. I went up to my room, and jumped back first onto my bed. I turned to my side, crunched the blankets up, and hugged the bundle of blankets. I almost fell asleep.

I forced myself back up, and texted my friend Jessica to tell her about our date. She sent me a bunch of heart shaped, hearts in the eyes, and love emoticons, and I just laughed. She playfully teased me and and took pics of herself smiling.

I brushed my long brown hair, and removed my mascara from my eyelashes that surrounded my blue-green eyes. I looked at myself, oblivious to my appearance without makeup. My eyelashes looked shorter, and my face paler. My hair curled up to shape my round face. I traced my finger down my lips, and felt each bump, trying to relive the kiss. This is when I've felt this girly.

I put on gray sweats and a tank top, then I finished texting Jessica, put my alarm on, and went under my fuzzy blanket. The warmth under my blankets felt like someone was hugging me.

Spring break finally passed, and I woke up to my alarm. I dashed out of bed, and was dancing to the music I had just put on. I had never been this happy.

I put on a black skirt, black tank top, pink lace tights, black leather gloves, pink lipstick, and by black leather boots with silver buckles.

I went back to school and I was walking with Jessica. I saw Nick, and his emerald green eyes were so bright, that I saw him a mile away. His black hair was pushed up at his forehead, and he walked as if he was slouching. He wore basketball shorts that were to his knees, and basketball shoes of red and white leather.

Nick walked up to me, "Hey, uh, I'm breaking up with you." He said as he ripped the bandage off quickly.

I hesitated to respond, letting my anger build up. "What, it's only been a few months, and what happened to I love you? And last nigh?" I asked furious throwing my arms around.

"Well, don't be mad, but I kinda met someone else." "What?!! How can I not be mad. And, you cheated?!!" I screamed at him. Jessica was holding my arms back, but I broke free and punched his nose, making it bleed.

I went to class, and dreaded it. I was also heart broken, that when the teachers spoke to me, I was too far in my mind that someone had to poke me twice to get me to focus. When I said what, everyone laughed. And I found out that the teacher asked me to read something.

The day went too slow, other days they seem fast, but today it was slow and torturous.

Jessica texted me, and I told her how sad I was, and she called me a Debbie downer. I locked my phone and walked the rest home from school.

When I got home, my dad was still at work, so I was alone till 8, so I did my homework, then I ate ice cream and watched a romantic movie. And when I got mad,or envious, I yelled, " That doesn't really happen in real life", or," Why can't a guy like that ask me out?" But when I got really mad, I broke the bottom of the ice cream container and I threw my spoon at the tv, with a little ice cream still on it. The ice cream splattered so far that almost the whole screen was covered in white.

I grabbed some paper towels and some cleaner, and cleaned the tv screen. Then I grabbed the ice cream container and spoon, and threw it in the sink. I put my palms on my forehead, and slowly squatted down until I was sitting on the ground, crying. I got up and went back on the couch.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 06, 2015 ⏰

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