𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 [spencer reid]

33. never knew

[tw: references to drugs]

          𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 her rescue from the field. She was admitted into medical detoxification to help her through early signs of dilaudid withdrawal, and every second she was away was another second for Spencer to worry. He and the rest of the B.A.U. were on edge in the waiting room, patiently anticipating a doctor to reveal her condition. With Francesca's parents, Jasmine, and Ingrid all on the way, everyone was praying for uplifting news.

          Spencer's mind was busy racing when it was interrupted by JJ, who was helping herself to the seat open beside him. "Hey," she whispered calmingly, getting him to remove his head from his hands. He looked at her with a friendly smile.

"Spence, I never got to formally apologize for everything that went down between me, you, and Griff," JJ sighed, laying a hand on Spencer's leg. "I really am sorry for taking something that was none of my business as something so personal. I'm happy for you both, and I couldn't ask for my two best friends to be with anyone better."

The boy placed his hand on top of JJ's, meeting her eyes. "I understand," he empathized, "and I forgive you."

JJ noticed how that apology was not enough to relieve the evident tension consuming his body. "We did it, though," she continued with hopeful eyes. "We saved her. You saved her."

"Francesca told me she loved me," Spencer blurted suddenly, and the second he said it, he regretted it. JJ looked at him with wide eyes while he tried to dig his way out of this hole. "I'm sorry. That has nothing to do with anything. That's selfish of me to bring up."

"Well, what did you say?" JJ asked intently.

Spencer squirmed in his seat. "I–I didn't say anything," he shamefully confessed, realizing how horrible it sounded out loud. "I just figured it was an in the moment thing. She was relieved that she was finally free from captivity."

JJ knew deep down that Francesca's words held truth, but it wasn't her job to relay the girl's feelings. She had learned that the hard way weeks ago. "I don't think this is as much about her confession as it is about how you feel," JJ observed his body language.

Spencer's brow knitted. "I don't know how I feel. I've never done this before."

"Okay, let's see then," JJ racked her brain. "Do you feel this constant desire to be near here? Just give me a nod if you do." The boy did as she instructed.