Girl With Fake Smile

Chapter 20

I wake up with rainbow colour sun rays falling over my face. Weather seems happy today. Sun is shining brightly. I wish my day would be happy as much as today's weather. I feel excited about what good might be coming on my way today. As the warm weather welcome me, which bring smile on my face.

That's what I believe , if my day starts with a smile on my face, I believe that day will end with something great as well. I feel  happy and excited for no reason. Today, I thought of going liltle early to my work than usual. I reach at my work place and as expected, I am the first one to arrive.

As time pass by, one after another enter the work place. I saw my boss entering the hall and everyone greet at him including me. I smile at him. My smile fade as soon as I saw one beautiful girl behind him. Every one open their mouth wide in suprise as soon as they saw girl that is following boss.

Buzzling sound fill the hall. I can hear some saying that she is boss girlfriend. For some reason, I hate her. I don't know whether I wanna cry or get angry at that woman. What, why am I like this? Am I jealous? What! Hah... I thought to myself.

No, no, I shouldn't feel that way! He is my boss and we are completely different. We are from different world. I thought to myself and try to concentrate on my work but I can't. For some reason I feel sad. I thought my day would end with happy and excitement but here exactly opposite to what I thought happen.

That's why, I sense of afraid fill my body whenever I feel too happy or excited. When I feel over joy, something bad happen to me. I'm afraid of enjoying the each and every day to the fullest too.  I can see that whole day that girl follow boss.

I even heard Jigme parents talking about their marriage which I confirm that they are couple. I feel like my dreams shattered into pieces and helpless. I don't have enough energy to do anything. I want to stay alone and shed my tears in silient.

That's how I handle every pain whenever such situation were on my way. Whenever I get into trouble or if I'm sad, I cry and cry until I feel better. Lekzin has been always by my side whenever I need her. Unlike others, she is the only friend I have. I can say she is my best friend.

She too has a family problem. She has one elder brother who is addicted to drugs. Her father leave this world when she is four. Her mother remarried to another man but unluckily, he is too rude for them.

So she is staying all by herself. I'm glad that she share me her personal problems which she haven't with anyone. When she was eight, her step father attempt to rape her. She ran out of her village to Thimphu in search of job. She started to earn  by working under others  so that she can continue her studies. 

Unfortunately, she couldn't continue her studies after 12, even though she got college as she has no one behind her. I feel sorry for her. Though I can't help her with money, I'm trying to help her to experience love with all my effort. I want her to laugh and smile like she doesn't cares about anything but only this moment.

I can say that, she too give only a fake smile. As time pass by, we became more close and we even share our secret. We get through the world of sorrow and enter into new world together. We promise to forget all those painful memories given by our family.

It's raining heavily and all I want is to stay in rain. I like to play in rain becaus it's the only moment I can cry as much as I want. No one notice that I'm sheding my tears. For some reason I want to stay in rain. In the morning, the sun is shinning brightly but out of blue it's raining.

I stay in rain, sitting on bence which  is behind my house. I don't know why I was sobbing so hard but my mind tell me to stay there and shed more tears until I feel better. Almost sitting on bench in rain more than an hour, I feel much better. I went inside house and drink hot water.

  I go to bed early than usual. I didn't take dinner nor I do have appetite.  I wake up in the middle of night feeling cold.  I had caught a cold. I try to wake up but my head is pulling me back. I search for medicine with my hands until I find it.

I take medicine hoping to get better. I  couldn't sleep whole night because I even had a fever. Still than, I have to wake up so that I can go for work. I can't take leave. Boss may expel me out from work if I take leave as only month was pass  after I join this work.

I try my best to balance myself. I walk slowly taking time to reach at my work place.

" hey! Are you okie? " Lekzin ask me with worrying face as soon as I reach at my work place. I hate when I saw worried expression over her face.

" I'm okie. Don't worry."
I said trying my best to act normal. I don't want her to worry about me.

I saw boss looking at my direction time to time but I was so exhaust to talk. I don't know why is looking at me. Today too, that girl, Yuden walk behind him like his body guard. Time pass faster as I wish. Yuden and my boss laugh together and they seems more close.

I walk out of my office as soon as office time was over. Lekzin was always following me whole day asking if I'm okie. She held my hand even when I was way back to home. She walk me to my place.

" I will spend my night here with you." She said.

" Why?" I ask her. " Just say, I miss you" she said with more of joke.

I don't have energy to argue with her like usual. I just nod at her. I lean on bed with her help.

" I know you are not feeling well. I know you hate when someone take care of you, especially when there is more people around. So I act as what you want but now I can't deny the fact that you are sick. I will take care of you" she said smiling.

I am grateful  that atleast I have got someone who care me as much as I want.

" Did you stay in rain because you are sad?" She ask me.

" Yeah but I'm not sad. It's just because I want to." I said.

" I know, you love our boss. You are sad because he has new girlfriend right?" She ask me.

What!  Am I sad because of that? Do I love him?  I thought to myself.

" I don't know" I respond. 

" I saw your expression when you saw that girl. Don't lie that you don't love him! I know he too has some feelings for you. So don't worry. Love is the strongest bond that no one can break. I'm sure that he will come at you. Just wait for right time. Time heals everything." She said which made me to feel a lot better.

" I even saw his eye fixing at you all the time. Today it seems like he knew you are not well. He is looking at you time to time with worried face. Who knows! She might be his relatives... " She said. I just look outside through window not knowing what to do.

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