the gravedigger's song.

Edward has to deal with this while the Volturi are coming to murderise Resume

Alistair's thoughts were a violent intrusion, a wave that pulled him under within seconds, pushing him into the dark until he could see flashes of a memory older than he was;

Pale skin tensing under teeth, the thrill of touch after not letting anyone close enough in ages, hands holding him so needlessly gentle. Feels like I’m sinking, giving in to everything. Tension coiling, Carlisle's voice-

Edward recoils the instant he realizes exactly what he's seeing, his father and Alistair had-? Together? Sure, it was a long time ago, longer than he could really process, but dear God had he never wanted to see his father in that light.

"Edward?" Bella placed a hand on his forearm, dragging him back into the present, and he can feel the bewilderment on his face before he forces it to flatten back to his usual expression.

"It's… nothing." He tried, quietly, but by the look Alistair was giving him, he had known quite exactly what he saw.

There were bigger problems at the time, so thankfully he was spared confrontation… Until one night, when the thoughts flooded him again, just as he was passing by the attic.

His touch couldn't have been warm, but it felt that way, this can't be what it is, as if everything weren't horrible enough, letting this go further would mean the end of it all. There can’t be anything else but C-

He forces himself to drive his fist into the nearest wall, the noise stopping Alistair's stream of consciousness just long enough for Edward to disconnect.

The attic door opens, and bright vermillion eyes glare down at him.

"...We should talk." Alistair says, and Edward groans quietly.

"No, there's really no need to-"

"I don't like it anymore than you do, but I don't want you starting shit. Up here. Just for a few minutes."

He knows the thoughts of a man that's determined to defend himself, so with a quiet sigh, Edward postpones meeting with Bella to crawl up into the attic space that Alistair was calling home.

"How much did you see?" The hermit fires at him immediately, leaving Edward already regretting his decision.

"You think really loud. About that." He mutters in reply, hating how much like a sulking teenager he sounds. Some things never change.

Alistair exhales a laugh, sitting cross-legged in the corner, as far from Edward as he's allowed in the space.

"It's not a current thing. Your mother would tear me to pieces."

The thought hadn't even crossed his mind until he'd brought it up- the memories were old, nothing present ever showed up in his mind, just the idea of it… Which was still uncomfortable, because he was imagining Carlisle.

His adoptive father having an affair would be completely out of character- hurting Esme in any way was unfathomable for him. So the reassurance on Alistair's part was entirely unnecessary, but the smallest what if had shocked him enough.

A sigh leaves Alistair. One certain thought escapes his head and burrows it's way into Edward's.

"...You think Carlisle is your-?" He starts to ask, only to have the following thoughts brought on by his father's very name change the sentiment entirely. It’s a familiar feeling, a song that brings a sweet ache to his chest that he always associated with Bella. Which meant...

"You… are mated with Carlisle. But he's not to y-"

"Listen, kid." Alistair interrupts, bitter and markedly more tired than Edward remembered, "I'd appreciate it you stopped digging through my head like it's a buffet."