Rose

The begining

Hi, im rose. I use to be such a vibrant, loud, and outspoken person. Always laughing and smiling then I guess one day as you get older reality just kind of hits you...No one Told me it would hit this hard.

It started when I was younger. My auntie
on my dads side stayed in Cali. I had a lot of cousins there so I would be so happy to go. I don't know specifically how it started but my two older boy cousins use to touch me. I'll call them Key and Tay, they were about 13 and 14 I think when I was about 7 or 8. Each of them use to kiss me and touch on me in sexual ways , but they never did it at the same time. Except, with Tay it was different. I remember he came to our house to visit in the summer and I went to sleep in my parents bed and woke up with a wet private part and him running out the room. I didn't understand what he did to me so I went to my room and locked my door and fell asleep. I also remember that he tried to force himself inside of me. Once again I didn't know what i was doing i wish i told someone. All of these times I was left alone in the house with him it would happen. I never told anyone because he made it seem like if i told i would get in trouble. As I got older, I would think being friends with them would make everything better. Thats just one of the many big secrets I have. I'm just telling you when the pain started. Being depressed at such a young age sucked. I always thought something was wrong with my appearance and my body.

Ma: "its going to be alright rose." my mom says as she hold me while I'm crying in the middle of the night "things will get better baby"

me: "i love you ma"

I thank God for the amazing support system I have my parents are great. Their not perfect but I love them. They've been knowing each other for like 20 plus years. My mom had my older brother when she was 16 then she had me when she was 20. My parents were like best friends always laughing so much and making jokes seeing them together always made me happy.

But some good things don't last forever. I remember when I first had the talk with my mom. I was 14, we were heading home after my track meet.

"rose i need to talk to you"

"yes ma?"

"Your dad and I haven't been on the best terms..we are getting a divorce."

"i don't understand why"

"some people fall out of love sweetie it happens but you will be able to see your dad whenever you want."

You know when people say, 'your father is the first guy you ever fall in love with' I 100% agree. My dad and I were really close. He encouraged me to do sports, kept me in nice shoes, and brought whatever I wanted. We always joked around together as well. Eventually things did change. My dad broke my heart before any guy could.

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next chapter will be longer just giving out a bit of a sample
let me know if you guys want me to
continue! ❤️