Blue And Grey [COMPLETED] • mistikenigma

Chapter Two

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I woke up the next day at six am and my first class is in an hour. Dali-dali akong tumayo sa higaan at naligo na. I don't eat breakfast in the morning, at least not in the house. I always it in a Karinderya, near our school. It's a good thing na mabait ang tindera at nang isang Linggo akong naghihintay tuwing umaga doon ay inagahan din nila ang paglalako. She said, their house is also far from her daughter's so she know my struggles. I'm a little guilty because I lied, I told her that our house is far from the school where in fact, it is just fifteen minutes away.

At 6:25 am, lumalabas na ako sa bahay at palagi namang may tricycle sa waiting shed. I only have 15 to 20 minutes to eat, dahil 7:15 ang sara ng gate ng skwelahan.

Umagang-umaga pa lang, nakakapagod na ang araw-araw na buhay ko. I doubt if someone in my age can live my life. This is why, I don't show emotions when I'm alone. Napipilitan lang naman ako na magpakita ng emosyon tuwing may nakapalibot sa akin, people used to see me smiling and I thought I should continue smiling dahil baka mag-iba ang tingin nila sa akin. I'm afraid of that... I'm afraid that people will look at me as a disappointment and someone who's faking herself or someone who is 'plastic' where in fact... I am really is.

Nang makarating ako sa skwelahan ay ngumiti ako dahil naghihintay sa may gate si Starr.

"Muntik ka nang ma-late. Ba't di mo kasama kapatid mo? Nauna sa'yo ulit." Sambit niya habang papasok kami ng skwelahan.

No one knows that I don't eat with my family anymore. It's almost a year, hindi ko kayang sabihin sa kanila, not because they might judge me but because I know that they also have problems. I admire them, my friends can tell their family problems, but I can't. Malinis ang imahe ng pamilya ko sa kanila kasi iyong magaganda lang ang kinukwento ko, that was before, noon lang ako nagkukwento ng tungkol sa kanila. I don't talk a lot about my family now except for my siblings.

"Late ako nagising. Di ka pa sanay?" Tawa ko.

Mas natawa kami nang humuni ang bell hudyat na magsisimula na ang flag ceremony kaya tumakbo kami papunta sa school field.

Sa pinakauna ako kahit na ako ang pinakamatangkad sa aming mga babae, I am the President. Nagsimula na ang flag ceremony kaya tumahimik ang lahat.

The thing that is making me happy in school is that, everyone is showing their respect to me even if I know that some of the students doesn't like me. There's this one time that I got a letter which says, I am pabida. The student doesn't even use her real handwriting, she use her other hand to write it which gives me the idea that, she must be one of my close friends or colleagues from other sections. Bakit niya iibahin ang handwriting niya? Syempre, kilala ko ang totoo niyang sulat.

I cried because of it. That was my first time receiving such letter. Hindi pa ako nakakarinig ng masama tungkol sa akin mula sa ibang tao, except sa pamilya ko. I'm use to my family calling me a disappointment and useless. Pero ang marinig iyon sa ibang tao... Hindi ako sanay.

I know, this day will go off like how I expect it to be. My life's a boring one. Wala kang makukuha ni isang aral- oh, maybe to not get affected with people's chit-chat or words behind your back. Madali para sa kanila iyong magsalita ng patalikod pero taob naman kapag nakaharap na sila sa iyo, damn people with high standards but have low thinking. Hindi man lang nila naiisip na nakakapinsala sila ng buhay ng iba.