Butterflies and wasps

Butterflies

   Kageyama didn't know when this started occurring, when he began to change, when things began to change. He remembers running to his sister when he was young, he had just seen a really pretty boy at the park and felt...Weird, like he was gonna throw up. his sister called it butterflies, said that when he sees something he likes a lot a lot he will feel them appear. Kageyama did know what it actually was as he got older but he still had always called them his butterflies, but then there was his wasps. His wasps are what he named his anger they stung and riled him, and he knew some people make him feel wasps, some people make him feel butterflies, and he knows the difference. He just can't pinpoint when they changed or how they did.

The first time he noticed a change was Oikawa, he remembers middle school he remembers his butterflies flaring up whenever Oikawa would spike, laugh or do anything really. He remembers chasing after those butterflies, even if Oikawa meant him with back with wasps, he would continue to try. He remembers the wasps that he felt at his teammates when things went wrong during games and when he was pushed to the back of the court, he never remembers those wasps being aimed at Oikawa. Then, at their next match, he was on the other side of the court and he felt wasps, stinging, burning, itching to attack, he didn't understand, those were supposed to be butterflies, they were always supposed to be butterflies.

The second time was Daichi? Kageyama didn't really notice a change there when it changes from nothing to butterflies, and boy did he stomp that out in a hurry. What was it with him and upperclassmen? He literally is dating someone! Kageyama couldn't help it though, Daichi was exactly what the team need, stability and he was intimidating, so what if he had a tiny feeling there. It was probably normal! It definitely happened to the rest of the team. Slowly the butterflies flew away, just like Kageyama knew and hoped they would.

The third time, nothing had changed much just intensified, it was Tsukishima, the blond idiot, and it was always wasps. Kageyama had felt slight wasps anytime Tsukishima said or did anything but right now, they were stronger than ever. He was watching Hinata spike, helping him learn how to block as well, they were only slightly heavy at that moment as Hinata watched him with genuine interests and preened when Tsukishima praised him even if it had an underlying tone of bitch in it. They turned into a swarm and frenzy when Tsukishima suddenly decided to pick Hinata up to lift him above the net so he could see and aim the way he was supposed to block as Yamaguchi attempted to get past him on the other side of the court. He stormed over faster than he thought he would "boke, I didn't know it was get carried like a baby day." silence washed over the court... -what kinda insult? Hinata threw himself down in front of Kageyama and started to yell but something was off.

There was another change, what the hell? Butterflies? Kageyama's head blanked out, Hinata stood in front of him probably rambling off another stupid insult but it was like white noise, he was in shock. When did they? How did they? Kageyama knew what was happening but why? He didn't like hinata, not like Oikawa, not like Daichi but then why? Kageyama runs himself back in time.

He remembers the first time he saw Hinata, it was wasps, it was definitely wasps,swarming at this kid who was so goddamn determined for a fight he was going to lose, he didn't understand why. He remembers the waps when he sees the wasted talent from the kid as he jumped with amazing accuracy, how that talent could have been usdd to help him. He remembers the butterflies when he talked to him for the first time, realizing his orange sunlight hair and determined eyes. Wait.... Butterflies???? No, no those were supposed to be wasps all he felt in middle school were wasps. That's not correct, Kageyama knows it, as much as he tries to shove it down and had been succeeding he remembers now, The butterflies he felt when he first saw Hinata jump and when he first saw him at all,  They were always there.

He remembers when Hinata first entered the gym at Karasuno and he saw him again, at first all he could realize were wasps, ready to sting and fight. He also now remember the small butterflies drowned out by the wasps, he would have never admitted it then but they were there, flying around as Kageyama looked at Hinata for the first time in years, He was still, pretty just like he was when they meant and still so stubborn about everything he faced that might stop him.