Lonesome Self

Nobody

Roses are red, violets are blue, nobody is as lonely as you.

You must understand that the truth is enough but too much of it....... Well it will give you somethings rough.

Nobody cares...... About you.

Only the Lord and yourself.

Even family who is close will eventually betray you.

Friends are nothing but toys.

Once you get tired or annoyed you will leave them.

The friends who were toys always remember, and the ones who aren't... Well dont remember.

I think that is better to be alone....

So you won't get hurt....

Cause thats all they do... Make you hurt.

If I'm alone I can think clear.

If I am not I worry...

That always hurts me..

I get blamed for jusy helping... Saying, doing, or even trying to act out... WHAT IS RIGHT!?

Nobody cares..

Only God truly understands me.

Sometimes I just want to die...

Sometimes I even think of trying but I always... Always think of fhe consequences... Then.. Slowly back off.

I dont know what I want to be anymore..

What to do in life?

Why am I trying?

Is a doctor really what I want to be?

Why Vanderbuilt?

Why money?

Why EVERYTHING?

Why, WHY WHY!!?

I wish I could just cry out!

I just dont know what to do in life anymore.

I am stuck in darkness with no way out. There is not a single light that shines anywhere...

Nobody is there for me.. Not even my own family..

They always say I love you and then turn away and stab you in the back.

Nobody will listen to my plead.

Like what my friends said, "Depends if we are in the same class again, thats when I can talk to you."

When I need help; all they do is stand by and watch.

They make eveything into a joke.

I always try to hold it in... when being made fun of...

I just want to explode.

I am human but also a demon, a loser, a person who nobody like wherever I go.... NO MATTER WHAT!

Even my parents say that.

I always have those questions running and running around my head in a circle.

Do they love me?

Why do they say that?

Why do they talk so much?

Why do they embarass me?

Why do they blame me?

I just dont understand.

Am I the black sheep?

Am I a lone dog?

Am I a vicious carnivore?

Am I unwanted?

Am I a demon?

What am I?

I just dont know anymore.. Everything I do is bad..

Drawing, playing around, playing ball, writing, grades, even how I dressed, and how I look...

I just want to starve myself to death.

I just think that I am just something that should have never happened, appeared, or even existed in this world.... In this family... In this home...

Like my parents say," It's always peaceful when youre gone and I think it should stay like that."

They have told me that many times before and always do...

I always think, if I was to die right now this minute, nobody would care.. They'd be joyful, no more of her, Hurray!!

Always, Always Always..

Nobody would be sad, only happy.

I was never meant to be.

Best to die not knowing what true love means, not being hated anymore, in peace, and never see another face.

Always hate when my parents say,"If I didn't love you, you would be dead dight now, you would have bruises all over you, you would be starving to death."

All those words came out the same mouths... Is that what it truly means to be loved or just another chore on the list?

They always says," You don't know how much we love you. Thats why youre so spoiled."

I bet that they only do this as a routine. Everyday the same thing over and over again.. For the last 13 years of my life..

Nobody understands how I feel, always like an outcast.

At church, at home, at school, even in public aound everyone..

I just want to disappear like no one cares anyways right?

I was never meant to have love, joy, or even peace in my life.

Everday is chaotic.

Too scared to die. The pain and agony I experience with these dreadful ties to time.

I only put up a smile and laugh for show. Always try to blend in because nobody cares.

If anyone reads this and im not dead yet.... Never talk about if or even talk to me ever again.

AGE:13

Note: This is what results in you holding everything bottled up inside and never tell or even express anything for a long period of time