Divergent: An Untold Love Story

Chapter 5: The Clash

For the whole day I slept. I was sleep deprived and I honestly didn't care if Eric got ticked or not. My vision was blurry when I got up at 2:30. Walking to my little refrigerator was quite a challenge because my body was stiff and numb. Speaking of Stiff, Tris. I needed to talk to her. To try and explain what happened with Christina. I wanted Tris to like me, but how could I make her like me when all I've done is hurt her and her best friend? That question engulfed me like a tsunami, and it was killing me.

This aching feeling of something broken inside me had taken a toll on me, and this only happened because my stupid instincts told me to take this stupid job. My oats were finally gone in my ceramic bowl; I left them set at the little table in my minuscule dining area. I wouldn't even call it minuscule because that would be an understatement. As soon as I made the decision to lay back down, a fist pounded on my door. Releasing an irritated groan, I slipped a black robe over myself.

When I swung the door open, Four was hovering over me like a ghost. Taking a few steps back, I tried to smooth my hair out.

"Sierra, why did you not come to training today?" Four asked me, a puzzled look on his face. Should I tell him that it was because of Christina? And was it honestly about just her? Or somebody or something else?

Hesitantly, I told him, "It's because of what happened with Christina. I lost my temper and I slapped her. Hard. Everything in my life has lost its meaning ever since I began this job. And it's only been a week and a half."

Four had an understanding look on his face, but what he said was anything but understanding. "Sierra, as a Dauntless leader, you can't expect life to be easy. We are the futures of the Initiates. We need to train them for the future, and thar future is us. And if you think you can just run away from this, you need to come to reality. If I don't see you tomorrow, then. . . Let's just say that your punishment won't be taken lightly." Like a hurricane, Four stormed away, disrupting anything and everything in his path.

Frustration surged my mind and body. Wanting to have the feel of metal in my hands, I took a handgun I hadn't noticed before and and held it. My finger hovered over the trigger, and I desperately wanted to shoot something. Maybe even myself. . No! I wasn't going to kill myself just because a few people were ruining my life. Without reason, I slipped on my actual clothes and raced out my door. I knew what I was going to do. I knew what I had to do.

<•>

When I got to the Pit, all the Initiates were crowded around the fighting ring. When I seen Eric, I was hesitant, but I walked over to him, grabbed his shirt to pull his ear down to me, and whispered, "Put me and Tris in the ring." Without expecting an answer, I stepped out of my black blazer, took my boots off, and stepped up to the ring's hard mat. I stretched my arms behind me and stretched my legs. I twisted my body so my back popped. With nothing but a light tank on, the top part of my tattoo showed. I could hear whispers about it, but I was too focused on my plan.

"Tris and Sierra!" Eric's voice blared like a deep siren. I was searching for Tris, but I didn't see her. She's afraid, I thought. I couldn't blame her. But it wasn't that I was going to bear her senseless. It was because I was going to let her win.

Tris stepped to the ring with fear showing on her face. In the time that I'd been here, she was a fighter and it was visible like cement. She was caring. And I envied her. But that was why I was weak. My life was based on the rule, never give up. Dauntless ran in my blood and it was what I was made of. And if I let my many Dauntless traits show, they were sure to rub off on the Initiates.

"How long do we fight for?" Tris asked with a sincere stutter. I could've burst out laughing, but one thing that I learned about myself from my actions against Christina, it was that I was a stone-cold, heartless person. I wanted to change, but I also didn't. It seemed as if I was being pressured into either a caring or soulless leader. I didn't know how to be both.

"Like I said before, until one of you cannot continue. Jeez, pay attention," Eric told Tris. I ignored him completely and braced myself. I was used to just the normal dodge, hit, dodge pattern, but if I wanted to let Tris win, I was going to have to go with the hit, dodge, block pattern. And that was my least favorite pattern.

Drilling my pattern of defeat in my mind, I got into the fighting stance. I tried to put fear on my face, but that's hard whenever you're really not afraid. But for Tris, fear was easy. I had been observing her, not only because I was suspicious of her being Divergent, but because she was different. Everything she did was with intelligence and risk. She was someone who faced challenges head on. Could she be Divergent? No, then it would flood my senses.

"Get on with it!" Eric yelled at us, breaking me from my thoughts. Okay, I'm ready, I told myself.

I took a step closer to her, and she took a step towards me. I gave her a fierce look and swung, connecting my fist to her cheek. She groaned in pain and lunged forward. I made a "fake" block and let Tris's small blow come into contact with my jawbone. It was only painful for a few seconds, and when she took another swing at me, I dodged. I pretended to be slow with a counter move, and as I expected, Tris slammed her elbow into my back. Surprisingly, it was painful. I groaned slightly and moved away. I swung my fist at her, but she dodged, grabbed my waist, and slung me onto the mat. She hopped on top of me and began to punch my face. Yes it was painful. Yes it stung like crap. And yes, I was beginning to black out. If this fight could help her in the rankings, it would mean a lot. As my vision became blackened at the edges, I looked at Tris and gave her a warm smile, and I knew that she knew what I was doing. . .

<•>

I woke up in my bed. And I was completely at peace. I was in pajamas and it was dark outside. My head was numb but I felt great. I looked to my right and seen another pillow. What? I only had one pillow. I looked to my left. Tris was in my recliner. Tris?

I rose up from my bed and ran my hand over my forehead. Was I dreaming?

"Good morning, Sierra. How are you feeling?" Tris asked me. To be honest, I didn't know how I felt. Tris was here, and I couldn't remember what happened.

"Well, for one thing, my head is numb, and I have no idea why you're here," I told her honestly. She laughed once, and walked over to sit on the edge of my bed. I gave her a confusing look and she sighed.

"Four hours ago, you came to the Pit and fought me. I managed to get on top of you and knock you out. I agreed willingly to keep an eye on you," she said in a matter of fact voice. And then I remembered. I had decided to fight Tris and let her know I was more than I seemed. I let her pin me and knock me out.

"Congratulations, Tris. You beat me in a fight." As I said that, Tris's expression became fixed and completely serious.

She shook her head once, then said, "No, I didn't win by myself. You let me win." I started to deny it, but she kept talking. "Yes, you did. You are strong and you know way more then I know. You're a leader, and I've seen what you can do. If you didn't try, I wouldn't have stood a chance." When she said those things, I knew that if I kept denying that I let her win, she wouldn't believe it. So I admitted that I did let her win.

"Okay, Tris, I let you win." And that was my answer.

"But why?" Tris's question surprised me. I guess I would have to confess all my reasons.

"I wanted to prove to you that I wasn't just a heartless leader who didn't give a lick about the Initiates. I know you know about what happened with Christina, and you will never know how much I hate myself for that. The guilt has never left me." On the verge of tears, I felt myself loosen. Finally telling Tris how I felt was a weight taken off my shoulders. And it felt amazing. Catching me off guard, Tris began to smile.

"Sierra, if I knew that you felt that way, I would've just talked to you. Everyone thinks that you're a leader with no emotion or feelings. I knew they were wrong, but I was still hurt and mad at you for being cruel to Christina. But I'm sorry I only saw one side of you."

And that's when the tears came. They flowed freely as Tris hugged me. We were in our embrace for a long time, and we finally broke apart.

As Tris walked through my door, she glanced at me once more. The smile she gave me lit my heart up, and it seemed to tell me that I COULD be both a heartless and caring leader. . .