Scars

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Here is a prompt from Moonstruck14

So I just realized as I am going to write this that I kinda wrote it into my Willex book without really thinking about it so I'm going to use that because I really don't know what to write right now for this book. I'll probably write a different one of these later on when I figure out what I'm doing.

TW// self harm and homophobia

Alex's POV

Willie and I sat together snuggling and watching movies on Julie's laptop she was letting us borrow.

"Hey, Will." I whispered.

"Mhm?" Willie asked, not glancing away from the laptop screen.

"Where... where did you get these? If- if you don't mind me asking."

Willie looked down at his wrist and as soon as he saw what I was talking about he pulled his arm away and looked down, fidgeting with his bracelets.

"You don't- you don't have to talk about it."

"Um... I need to go, Alex. Thanks for this."

"Wait, Willie-" Before I could do or say anything he poofed away.

I slammed the computer shut. Pulling my knees to my chest and I did what I always did. I cried.

"I screwed it up. I can't ever stay in a relationship. I can't ever just mind my own goddamn business." I yelled, sobbing.

I sobbed and sobbed. I thought I had found my person. I thought that I was actually happy for once but I guess I ruined that for myself as I always did.

Luke walked into the studio what felt like hours later. I had fallen asleep crying but I was used to it. Feeling this pain. Crying myself to sleep. I felt it all. But if I was used to it it wouldn't hurt that bad anymore... right? I get used to the pain and forget it.

Wrong.

This pain was awful. It was breaking my heart into a million pieces because my brain did what it always did and jumped to conclusions. The sad "Willie doesn't wanna be with you" conclusions. The "you'll never be happy" conclusions. And you know what. I believe it. I always believe it. I feel so stupid for always believing it. I feel so stupid for messing up the relationship I had with Willie because he probably doesn't ever want to see me again. He doesn't wanna be my friend or my boyfriend or anything. He probably hates me.

"Alex?" Luke said, gently waking me.

I didn't wanna wake up and face people. Face people asking me questions about everything making me think about what happened and making me want to cry again.

I groan rolling over, face planting into my pillow. Multiple times.

"Alex, what happened?" Luke sounded worried.

"I screwed up." I said into my pillow.

"Aw. I'm sorry man."

"Yeah. Me too."

Luke rubbed my back. "Are you okay? I mean I know you're not okay but you just. I thought things with you and Willie were going good?"

I sat up, looking down at my hands and picking at the skin around my finger nails. "Yeah. They were but I just had to open my stupid mouth. I saw these scars under his bracelets on his wrists and-" I started sobbing again. "I decided to open my mouth and ask him about them. I thought maybe I could help him with his feelings be- because I used to cut myself to and- and I thought we could talk through it together but he- he left me a- and I don't think he'll ever want to talk to me again."

Luke pulled me in for a hug. Holding me as I cried. "Shhh. It's okay." He whispered into my ear trying to calm me down.

"I think that Willie still likes you and that might just be a tough thing for him to think about or to talk about with someone."

I nodded.

"I think you should go find him and maybe talk to him."

"And if he doesn't want to talk to me?"

"Then I'll be here for you with all the hugs you need. And I am sure that Julie and Reggie will be too."

I nodded again slowly. Luke patted me on the back and got up to head down from the loft. I sat there for a few minutes then poofed to bench Willie and I talked at when we first met.

It was getting dark out but the street lights and light from the stores and all created enough light for me to tell that it was Willie sitting at the bench. He was sitting there looking sad and broke my heart so much to see him like this.

I walked over and sat down next to him, not saying anything. I looked at him but he didn't look at me.

"I'm really really sorry about earlier. Really. I just- I thought that maybe you could open up to me about it. That I could help you talk though it maybe. I don't know. It's so stupid. I feel so stupid for opening my mouth. I- I'm really sorry." I poured out.

"Yeah. I know you are," He sighed, still avoiding my gaze. "It's just," Then he turned towards me. "I get really sensitive about that. When I came out to some of my best friends they hated me and bullied me for it. My parents didn't take it as well either and I just felt like the world's biggest disappointment. I felt like no one loved me so I would cut my wrists to take my mind away from that pain and make me focus on the pain in my wrists."

I nodded slowly. "That's how it went for me," I pulled back my sleeve showing faint scars. "I thought that we could help each other. But I get it if you don't want to be with me anymore or anything." I looked down at my shoes.

Willie quickly snapped his head up. "Alex, I didn't mean for you to feel like I didn't want us to be together. I just needed some alone time and... I didn't want you to see me cry and think I was stupid or something." He trailed off.

I looked at Willie. He had his face in his hands. I took his wrists, gently pulling him towards me. I kissed his wrists making my way to his lips.

"To me, you are gorgeous. You are amazing and I don't want you to ever feel any different. Okay?" A single tear fell from my cheek.

Willie nodded.

"Come here." I smiled softly, pulling him in for a long hug.

So yeah. If y'all enjoyed that, it's part of my book Just Two Ghosts you can find it on my profile :) Love y'all! xx, Izzy

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