a splash of color and wings of hope

a tear falls

A tear falls,

Dripping down a cheek and splashing onto paper.

The person stares off into space, their eyes unfocused.

It seems funny, they muse, that I can't do something my family considers so simple.

They tell me to try harder, work harder, practice more; can't they see I'm already trying?

What's the point of trying if everytime you crash- harder than the previous time? Tears keep falling, hurtful words are cast out like fishing lines- except they never get reeled back in.

Blinded by the lies I keep spouting- 'I'm okay, i'm happy"- they only see the pitiful remains of who I used to be- never who I am now.

They can't see behind the mask I have so artfully crafted, the carefully woven strands of a million lies that will eventually cave in- destroying myself in the process.

I hide behind moments of stolen happiness, knowing that the ugly dark cloud will eventually smother me. Time and time again, I just keep sinking, just keep drowning, just keep failing.

What's the point of living if you're only existing? I keep clutching on the edge of me- desperately hoping they will see, desperately hoping I can grow my wings one day and fly- fly away from the dark cloud surrounding me.

Hope is a tiny light in the midst of darkness, and some might say it is foolish to keep holding on to a flickering flame. But human beings have always been foolish creatures, and that alone is enough to keep me here- clinging to the edge of me.