Butterfly

Why did you leave? I didn't want you to leave. I need you, I need to see you, even if it's from afar. Can you stay by my side? I don't trust myself to be alone. Promise me you will. I'm scared I'll fly away and break if I let go of your hand. Don't let go of my hand. I'm scared. Don't let go.

I can't look you in the eyes anymore. It's too painful. You stare though. Whenever I dare to take a glance at you, you're staring at me. Into my soul. Maybe I shouldn't have left you. You don't shine as bright as you used to. You've dulled. You used to be a beacon of light in the pitch black of space. You were every star, every milky way, every sun in every dimension of the universe. Not now though. What happened? Was it because of me? Did I do this to you? Please tell me I didn't.

I can't hold on any longer. I need to let go. My hands are getting sore, my arms weakening. It's too much. I just want to disappear. I want to vaporize like the rainwater after it hits the ground. I want to drift away like a fallen leaf on a river. I want to, but I can't. I need to try, just a little longer. But it's getting harder every day.

I still can't believe it. It feels like forever since I last saw you. In reality, it's only been a few months. A few months too many. None of this seems real. It feels like a dream, I wish it was one. I wish you could've held on longer. That you didn't disappear. That I could have helped you. I will help you now. Better late than never. I will find you and help you get better, get that shine back.

Look at me. Look at me, please. I need you. My heart cracks when you glance and quickly turn away. My heart breaks when you shift uneasily in your seat after realizing I'm staring. Or course I'm staring. My heart shatters when you pretend I don't exist. I do exist. I'm right here. Please, just look at me. I'm just a fragile butterfly, who could slip away any second. Please don't let that happen to me.

I will stop time to stay with you. I will pause the world. Make the wind still. Nothing moving, except me and you. This moment can't pass. I can't let it. It will just drift away from your mind without a second thought, while it's all I will think about. Let me stop the earth. I can't lose this moment. I can't lose myself. I can't lose you again. You're my beautiful butterfly, but I won't let you fly away again.

I'm trying to hold it together, but I can't. I'm trying not to disappear. But it's hard. My mind wanders where my body wishes to go. Away. Never seen again. Just like a butterfly.

The wind is cold today. When it passes through me, I can feel your presence. I can feel you with me. I know you're watching over me. I smile. Painfully. It hurts to be happy without you. Can you come back, please? I need you. A butterfly lands on my finger. It's you, isn't it? Looking out for me. Thank you. And I'm so sorry.

[END]

Word Count: 570

Written: 03.03.20

Last Edited: 10.09.20