The book (Camren) (one-shot)

The book

*Camila*

It all started in my senior year of high school. This was a time where you are meant to plan what to do with your life and all that grown up stuff but here I was completely and utterly in love with my best friend. I don't know what it was about her but I couldn't shake the feeling. We had been friends since freshman year and by the end of that year I was truly, madly, deeply, passionately in love with her. But to tell my life story I must go back to the start when her and I first met, because when I met her that's when I finally started living.

I was sat at my school lunch table with my friend Dinah who I had known since we were born. We where in a deep convocation about music when I smelt the scent of vanilla perfume with a hint of fruit in it. I didn't even know who the scent belonged to but my mind became clouded. I could no longer hear Dinah or the noises of the world around me. I could no longer smell the sweet smell of the flowers and the freshly cut grass. All I could smell was her and as I turned my head in search of the scent, it was to late. The scent had left the area but it still remained in my mind and my nose, like I could never shake it.

Later that same day I had drama and as I walked into the room with Dinah the scent was there. I searched aimlessly through the room, row after row after row, until my eyes came across a pair of emerald green ones I'd never seen before. I knew for sure that whoever she was, she was new because eyes like that I would never forget. I made my way up the rows and sat next to her as nobody was sat near her and Dinah sat beside me. I said hello before introducing myself to her and then introducing Dinah. We got into a conversation about books, which soon lead to music, which lead to tumblr. The convocation was flowing and I found it so easy to talk to her. I found myself wanting to let her know every detail of my life and I wanted to know every little thing about her. Her dreams, what songs make her happy or sad, the deepest thoughts that her mind possessed. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to wake up and for her to be there. I craved her in every possible way. She had me from the moment her eyes landed on mine.

A year later we became inseparable. We were best friends and people rarely saw one of us without the other. I had memorized every part of her. Every word that left her lips was gold, her laugh was a sound I wanted to listen to constantly and her mind was so complex and beautiful. I was the happiest I could ever be until that dreaded day, the day she got her first boyfriend. He was a jock, well built, perfect smile and everything I could never be. The only thing I had that he didn't was brains and I questioned why she chose to be with somebody who couldn't fully understand the complexity of her mind. I wondered if he wanted to memorize every scar on her body and the reasons she got them. I wondered if he ever dreamed of a day that he'd wake up next to her and she'd still be asleep and he'd get the chance to memorize every freckle her face had and the soft smile that graced her lips as she slept.

We grew apart that year. We had argument after argument about pointless things all because I was jealous of how much time she spent with him. I wanted to be him. I wanted her to crave my attention like I craved hers. I needed her but she didn't need me. That year changed me. I became this broken mess on the ground that only Dinah ever tried to clean up because she was to busy to realize how much I was breaking. November is when I fully broke down though. My dad had been sick for three months before he passed away in November. I had to support my devastated mother and tend to sofi, who constantly asked the heart wrenching question, where's dad? The question was where was dad, where was he? Where did he go after his last breathe of air and his body turned cold? The other question was, where's she? Where was she when my father left the world? You guessed it, with her boyfriend. After my fathers death I went into a state of depression and doctors gave me all types of medication but prescribed medicine can't define feelings. I can't count how many scars fill my body from night after night of trying to kill monsters to big to be demons.