Fused

Chapter 5: Reality Bites

You can run, but you can't hide.

-Attributed to American boxer Joe Louis, 1941

***

I made my way to the locker room to retrieve my gym bag mortified by my idiotic introduction to James. The locker room was empty though I could tell someone had recently been there.  The room was still thick and warm with steam from the shower and the scent of lavender shampoo permeated the air.  My mom was probably already in the parking lot waiting, so I quickly stowed my things in my bag sighing at the image of myself in the mirror as I passed by.  Oh well.  At least I had been working out.  That gave reason enough to my flaming skin and generally ruffled appearance.  

With my hands full I pressed through the locker room door with my right shoulder and heard it swing closed behind me.  I passed by the front desk and I gave a chin lift to Glen.  He waved back and marked my exit time on the ledger.  I stole one last glance around the gym before exiting and noticed that Dylan was still showing James around.  They were standing by some of the free weights in the back-corner chatting.  I stared momentarily having this need to etch his image in my mind.  I don't know why I felt the need to do that. Something in my gut stirred, a fear of losing him, but how could I fear losing someone I didn't even know?

James stood with his arms crossed over his chest smiling and laughing with Dylan.  Seeing him smile made me smile, and I was conquered by a sudden worry that I might never see that smile again.  An ache pulled in my rib cage just left of center.  I pressed my arms, full of gear, to my chest to ease the pain.  So odd I thought, to feel that way about someone I just met.  I knew nothing about him- other than I wanted to see him again.  He must have felt me looking at him because in that instant he turned and for a second our eyes locked.  Embarrassed he might think I was staring at him, because I was, I quickly turned and walked out the door.

Mom's car was parked in the front row right outside.  "Hi Mom," I said as I opened the rear passenger door of the SUV and threw my stuff in the backseat before climbing into the front.

"Thanks for picking me up."

"You're welcome Honey. How was the gym?" she asked as we pulled out of the parking lot to head home.  It was our normal banter, but it felt awkward. It felt forced, because things weren't normal.

"It was good."  I shrugged, still thinking about James. 

"I talked to Rachel to see if the twins could come by and pick you up on the days I can't." 

"Why Mom. I just talked to Dylan.  He said he would drive me home.  Besides, Joel has practice after school, he doesn't have time to come get me.  He already has to drop Janelle off at the dance studio and then go back to school for practice." 

Joel was an all-star athlete, football, baseball, basketball, track...you name it he was good at it.  Better than good actually.  His coaches provided any accommodation he needed just to make sure he was on the team.  Even if it meant missing the first fifteen minutes of practice so that he could drop his sister off at dance class. 

"I know." Said Mom.  "And you're right.  They can't pick you up for now."  I just don't want you to burden Dylan too much." 

"Burden Dylan?  Mom, he wants to drive me home."  What she had meant to say was that she didn't want me taking advantage of Dylan.  Mom had known Dylan as long as I had.  We'd been taking classes together at the gym since middle school. She spent hours upon hours every week watching us in classes.  She liked Dylan and was certain he had a thing for me.  It didn't matter how many times I told her we were just friends.  He didn't see me as girlfriend material.  I was like one of the guys.  Someone he sparred with.  And that's how I felt about him.  She saw something that just wasn't there.  "You're going to break that boy's heart one day," she would say.