The warding to keep Billie out of the room cracked as her fist met the door.
"Dean," Castiel looked at the hopeless hunter. "She said that wound was killing her... Maybe we can wait her out."
The suggestion paused Dean's thinking. "Yeah, and if we can't?"
"Then we fight."
Dean shook his head. "We'll lose." His feet dragged him to the back of the room. "I just lead us into another trap, all because I couldn't hurt Chuck." He was already blaming himself, the new form of baggage pilling on his shoulders. "Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill- and because that's all I know how to do!"
There were now tears forming in his beautiful green eyes.
"Dean..." Castiel took a couple steps forward, then stopped, waiting for the hunter to take his own steps.
"It was Chuck all along," Dean continued, his voice wavering slightly. "We shouldn't have left Sam and Jack. We should be with them. " The tears were starting to pile, but the hunter held them back. "Everybody is going to die, Cas. Everybody." His voice was brittle now. He took a few steps toward the angel, maintaining two feet apart. "She's gonna get through that door."
The door shuddered as Billie's fist hit it again.
"I know," Castiel agreed quietly.
The hunter looked at the angel straight in the eyes. "And she's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me."
They exchanged a knowing look. The angel couldn't argue more, but he remained silent. Up until he remembered something that could save everyone... save Dean.
"I'm sorry," Dean whispered.
Castiel looked up from the floor. "There is... There's one thing she's afraid of. There's one thing strong enough to stop her." Dean furrowed his brows in confusion. "When Jack was dying... I made a deal to save him."
The confusion was quickly masked by anger. "You what?"
The anger was ignored. "The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness... The Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever."
"Why are you telling me this now?" Dean's anger was fading, slowly forming into hurt. A year after the incident and now Castiel was saying something?
Castiel's blue eyes were slowly tearing up. "I always wondered, ever since I took that burder, that curse, I wondered 'what could it be?' What my true happiness could even look like." A smile began to form on his lips, a sad, knowing smile. "I never found an answer, because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have." His eyes trailed to Dean's. "But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it."
The only emotion surfacing to Dean's expression happened to be confusion. "What are you talking about, man?"
"I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean." Castiel avoided the question, replacing it with who the hunter really is. "You see yourself the way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry, and you're broken. You're 'daddy's blunt instrument'. And you think that hate and anger, that's... that's what drives you, that's who you are." He lightly shook his head. "It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it."
Castiel's voice was no longer modulated, it was thick and brittle, full of emotion. "Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your brother for love. You fought the word for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know." His smile grew more sad. "You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me." His eyes left Dean's for a moment, but flickered back a few seconds after they left. "Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I care about the whole world because of you." A breathy laugh let his lips, and a single chair trailed down his cheek. "You changed me, Dean."
Said hunter's eyes had watered more as Castiel spoke. He felt so vulnerable, so hurt as he realized what this may be. THe bang coming from outside was ignored again. Dean didn't care about it right now. "Why does this sound like a goodbye?"
Castiel's smile wavered, but remained. "Because it is." Before Dean could argue, the angel took one last step forward and confessed, as clear as he could: "I love you."
A wave of emotions, all hurt and pained rushed through Dean. "Don't do this, Cas." How he managed to get the plead out without bursting into tears, he did not know. He was too focused on the angel in front of him, the angel who had just proclaimed his love.
A splotching noise from behind the hunter took his attention. Black goo, The Empty, was squeezing through the brick wall, opening what looked to be a portal.
Dean looks back at Castiel, the angel still smiling tearfully.
The warding from the door behind Castiel finally broke. Billie stood at the arch, a hand tightly clutching her scythe. Time had run out.
"Cas..."
Dean is interrupted when the angel steps forward. He places the bloodied hand he used for warding on the hunter's left shoulder. "Goodbye, Dean."
"What?"He is pushed across the room, falling to a spot on the floor next to the portal.
A splotch of The Empty stretches itself out to engulf Castiel. The angel gives his hunter one last smile before being taken through the portal.
Dean watches with wide eyes as the same is done to Billie. He looks at the portal, watching it close with a heaving chest and tearful eyes. He drags his body to sit up against the cool, brick wall. The tears that had been pooling into his sockets immediately began to stream down his cheeks.
Next to where he had fallen, his phone started to ring. Dean picked it up, staring at his brother's name for a moment, then tossed it across the room.
Silent sobs started to leave his lips. Dean curled up into a ball and put his head in his hands.
Cas... Cas is gone.
YOU ARE READING
Last Goodbye
FanfictionThough the warding on the door should keep Billie out, both Castiel and Dean know it won't last long enough. Castiel has no choice but to provide a way out... WARNING: SPOILERS FOR 15x18! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.