Too Many Emotions (Bleach/Picnic at Hanging Rock crossover)

Too Many Emotions

"I did not commit suicide," Sara emphatically stated, irritated at the accusing looks. Life after death seemed at times just as dismal as life itself.

"You self-harmed," the accusing eyes looked at her legs. "You still self-harm."

"That's not the same thing." Sara glared at her fellow Witch as those who came to take care of spiritual things were known, though the aboriginals of course held a different word, one not imported from Europe. While many years passed between that fateful Valentine's Day back in 1900 subsequently followed by her death, not many years passed for herself, given how her spirit remained stuck in a kind of limbo which in turn didn't help with all the emotions she struggled with.

Of course, even the dead choose not to understand and her past of self-harm and supposed suicide which in reality was her not realizing she was backing away from danger to her own death haunted her and undermined the fact she'd been selected for an ambassadorial job to Japan, not that she could speak a lick of the language. Sometimes, she wondered if they simply wanted to be rid of her, given how lost she always seemed to be and how much of a wild spirit she was.

She definitely wasn't a lady, but if they expected her to be...

In the back of Sara's mind, she knew that would just end up being one more thing she'd be shamed for despite the fact many of the newer souls who'd not been in limbo like she was got away with not being as lady-like, or in the case of the males, not acting like a proper gentleman. Nor did she ever find Albert, but then he had likely been looking for a few decades while she is less than that. She didn't blame her older brother if he gave up looking, but he might have also passed on.

Of course, one of her traveling companions picked a rather odd time to bring up her past, not to mention she didn't know how said companion let alone anybody came to know, yet the fear Mrs. Applegate was involved didn't once settle her mind. Said comment was out of place, started from a bout of silence which would have been better interrupted with comments about the foreign scenery in this Japan, or Eastern Soul Society.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Heads turned, looking at a figure with white hair, reminding Sara instantly how the older ones didn't like younger ones advancing faster than them simply because they were spiritually gifted. Of course, life after death felt more like a curse set upon her by Mrs. Applegate personally

Unlike the other Shinigami as the ones here liked to be called, he wore a white cloak, his green eyes narrowed, and his arms crossed. He also spoke English well. "This was just business between us, those of us from..."

"Last time I checked, no matter the soul's culture it is rude to speak of one's death so flippantly, but she is right in saying they're not the same thing. Or should I send you to the fourth division for a well-earned lesson in the healing arts? I'm sure Captain Unohana would like to teach you all about psychological stuff and psychological you all to death. You are guests here, but don't outstay your welcome."

He left then without saying his name, though she did catch sight of him when the Gotei Thirteen decided to introduce the captains. He was in fact a captain, which was actually equivalently to their part of the world an even higher rank than she ever hoped to achieve, yet for some reason, the ones who held vinegar in their words regarding her own position choose to respect him. Then again, Toshiro Hitsugaya was in fact male.

"Why do males get treated so much better than females?"

"That's a question I wondered the answer to myself, though I'd argue that – if you are in fact debating why they treat me with respect, that has to do more with fear than anything."

Sara jumped turning. "I didn't commit suicide."

"I died on a plain of ice."

Later on, Sara would learn there was a similar question regarding his death as hers in the fact his inner world was a plain of ice, yet she took it as an invite to say the truth. "I fell out of a window trying to get away from an adult who meant me harm."

The cold facial features softened. "Adults do definitely do have a way of trying to find scapegoats."

Later, she would learn it was from personal experience why he said that, yet she realized a burning sensation in the pit of her stomach which was more of a focus for her mind. "I wouldn't say I was a scapegoat, so much as she didn't like me."

"There is that. People don't like what they don't understand, but then I can't blame you for not being thrilled with that being said when I myself haven't appreciated it in the past."

She still didn't clue in, yet the whole fear thing he spoke of, for some reason she didn't pick up on it. Then again, she didn't pick up on what she was feeling towards the young Shinigami until they were returning from their ambassadorial work and someone said, "I'm glad you missed your chance at true love. You don't deserve it."

"That was unkind."

"It was meant to be Sara."

"Then you need not speak to her," said one of the higher-ups when they returned. "And what is this about missing the chance at true love?"

"Nothing," the other stammered.

"I don't know."

"Obviously not nothing."

"She just – she took a liking to one of the captains of the Gotei Thirteen," the person rolled their eyes. This resulted in a private discussion regarding what some called the "birds and the bees" only for her to clarify that he was around a similar age, she thought, at least physically he looked to be, not to mention the fact he was definitely not someone who her feelings were towards. Yet, she wasn't sure. Too many emotions rattled around in the mess of her head for her liking.