A Regretful Day

   I looked at the tall, white concrete building that stood across the street from me, and wondered if I should enter such an eerie place. This place had history of taking lives without a second glance and it terrified me. I jumped slightly as the wind screeched and tossed around my short, black hair. I let out a soft sigh and counted to ten before I decided to face my doom and walked across the almost deserted street. Chills ran up and down my arms, trailing goose bumps along the way, as I neared the unforgiving building's sliding doors.

   The doors slid opened as I step on the front entrance's mat. I stood there feeling the sun glared down its rays upon the back of my arms and neck. I wanted the sun to bath me in it's almighty glory and incinerate me on the spot. I didn't want to be here, not now, or ever. I must had done something horrible in the past for karma to rear its ugly head upon me and punish me, but for nothing in this destructive world, I could not think of anything wrong that I've done to suffer this punishment. A rough, stern voice called out to me asking me if I was in or out.

    I looked up to see a tall, chocolate brown man. He had a thin black mustache running across his upper lip and bold, black bushy eyebrows. He had a very long neck and an oval shape head with high cheeks bones. What really struck me was his charcoal black eyes that were trapped behind black, square framed glasses. I never seen anyone with dark, strong eyes as his, but if he leaned closer to me I bet they would probably be a dark brown. I scanned my eyes up and down at him and instantly noticed the gold badge that he wore on his left chest. The gold on it shined from the lighting in the building which helped to easily reflect the word "security" on it. He was wearing a half wrinkled, half ironed white uniform shirt on and black ironed pants. A black belt and slick, shiny black shoes where included with his uniform.

   I moved my eyes back up to his face and saw his bushy eyebrows furrowed. He took a large hand and rub it across his mouth and then moved it towards the back of his head and scratch it nervously. He gave me a frown and made a grunt. I blinked a few times and realized that I was staring at him. I felt a rushed of heat rise to my cheeks which could be easily noticed against my pale complexion. He mumbled the question that he asked before. I lowered my head low and told him I was here to see my grandmother.

   I weakly took a step forward inside the sliding doors and turned my head around to see the doors closing away my freedom. I looked back up at the forty-ish looking old man and saw him looking at me with doubt. He probably thought I was a delinquent and would probably cause a riot. I gave him my "believe me" face. Silenced surrounded us before he silently took a step towards me. I thought and gladly hoped that he would tell me to leave the building and never set foot on this unholy ground. To my surprise he placed a rough hand on my shoulder and squeezed it softly and told me to not worry. I was shocked for a moment from his words. Could he tell? Could he honestly tell why that I forced myself in here? I gave him a soft nod and left him standing where he was. I didn't dare look  back, but even so I still felt his strong, dark eyes upon my back as I retreated towards the front desk.

   I looked at the receptionist and wished that she would just disappear. She was wearing a tight fitted pink outfit that showed her cleavage quit easily and I bet downstairs was in the same predicament. She twirled a thin finger in her curly blond hair and popped her pink bubblegum that probably wanted a taste of freedom as well. She rolled her eyes at me as she scanned her hazel eyes up and down at me. I glared at her rudeness and told her that I was looking for my grandmother. She pivot around in her gray office chair and typed down on the computer as she typed in my grandmother's name that i gave her. She told me the room number and I quickly ran off to find Grandmother's room. As I neared her room, I instantly slowed down in to a slow pace. Nervously, my heart beat loudly against my chest. I clenched and unclenched my hands in a steady pace as I was face to face with her door. It was nothing but a plain white door, down a plain white hall, with bold black letters inscribed with the numbers 216. Even so, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. I knocked twice and placed my hand on the handle as I heard a soft toned voice called me in.

   I let out a shaky breath and opened the door to see her, my grandma. She looked like an angel with all the white surrounding her. She turned her head towards me slowly and called out to me. I walked swiftly towards her bed and grab one of her hands. I let out a gasp as I felt how thin her fingers were compare to mine. Her wrinkles on her hand felt rough and her skin color was a ghostly pale. I couldn't look at her face so I scanned around her room. Monitors were set to the side of her bed while a table sat on the other side. There was one red rose in a vase on top of the table that was slowly dying. A window was on the other side of the room venting warmth into the room.

   She called my name softly making me forcefully look at her. I wanted to cry and run out of the room. She had no life at all in her face. Her eyes were half close, having no glow to them. I softly stroked her face and clinched her hand a little tighter. She gave off a soft dried laugh and used her other hand to pat my hand that trailed her face. She told me that she was alright but I knew she wasn't. I told her that I don't want her to leave me and that I wanted to take her out of this dreadful hospital. Before I could cried out another word, she told me that she loved me and that she was really proud of me.

   Tears build up in my eyes and I couldn't held them back anymore, so I let them flow. I took the back of my free hand and rub my face fiercely to rub away my tears. I told her not to say that. She just shook her head at my immaturity and smile. I slowly stood up and head towards the door and softly told her that I loved her. If I had waited a few seconds before heading out the door, I would have realized that she didn't hear me, but it was too late. I closed the door and head down the hall slowly towards the front entrance. Suddenly, a loud booming voice yelled at me to move out of the way as he and a full set of a doctor's team rushed down the hall. I turned around to see them enter my grandmother's room.

   Panic surged through me and I fell to my knees. A young nurse walked out of the room in a few moments and held her head down, shaking it slowly. She saw me down on the floor and briskly walked towards me and asked me if I was okay.

   I couldn't find my voice and just stared up at her. I pointed towards the room she just got out of. She followed my finger and instantly frowned and said that the old lady finally kicked the bucket.  I quickly glared at her from her rude way of saying such a thing, but just as instant as I glared at her I quickly burst into tears. The woman moved back away from me a little in surprise, but I quickly felt her arms circled around my small frame body. That was the only day I will ever regret. The regret for not telling my grandmother that I loved her just a little louder.