So, my mom brought up the diet that I'm supposed to be on that my doctor put me on again and the insecurities started to gush in like a dam that sprung a hole. I wanna cry...I'm wanting to die again...but I know that I gotta stay strong. I haven't even come close to achieving my goal in life: to raise a kid and give them the happiness life that they could ever live. I want someone to be happy...a kid. I want them to be happy. I want them ALL to be happy...but I know that'll never be the case. I can't adopt every kid in the world. But if I can just make at least one child happy and give one child a happy upbringing, then I'll be happy and I can finally die in peace. That's a reason why I live. I live to love my family. I live to support my friends. I live to make people happy. I live to hopefully make everyone happier then I'll ever be.
Please don't be worried about me. There's no way that I'd ever kill myself. I have too much to live for. Way too much. I just...I'm just in an insecure and depressive mood again. Firat time in a while, actually. That's good...
Now, don't mind me. I'm going to go and maybe vry for 30 seconds to 1 minute and then I'll be going to be fine. Moody, but fine...I hope...
