Allow me to give you a heads up. this story is not interesting, not a series long, and certainly not a New York times best read. I'm not the main character in this story. ( this story being my life I guess) I am what people would consider a 'N.P.C' otherwise known as a non playable character in video games. I'm not a pretty brunet with gorgeous green eyes who gets kidnapped by an all powerful vampire werewolf hybrid, although that doesn't sound awful. Actually I'm the opposite, I'm black, 5'7 and I've worn braids since 7th grade when kids made fun of my real hair. My names Nia and allow me to apologize for that basic introduction of "I'm not like other girls" I swear I didn't mean it like that. I'm a junior in high school, 17 (which for some reason is when all the weird shit in books starts going down) I'm not new here, I've been attending all 3 years and all the teachers are the same. " you have an attitude problem" "maybe you need to go down a level in math since you never do the work" they never actually teach me anything although my mom says I'm smart. Thanks mom. How are you supposed to feel intelligent when everyone, including your friends, make you out to be stupid. Could I blame that on the fact that they have lower standards for me because I'm a black girl? Sure, but its useless if I just fit into their stereotypes. I've just realized something. I know where this book is going, and boy are you going to be shocked based off this introduction. So if it all must start then let it begin. Sadly this story starts with a group of awful friends that would say things to me like " you don't even know the difference between their and they're" because I don't text them like I'm writing an essay. After the friendship ended I did what any sane person would do, I deleted every single trace of them from my phone. I didn't do it to spite them though I wish I did, I had gotten back with the same friends off and on for far too long and I am sick and tired of feeling like to be cool with them I have to become them. Your not the plastics love, you can have someone in your presence that's different then you but its whatever. Afterwards I started to realize just how much of their (see) personalities I had absorbed. I felt like I was re-born or something. I could finally be myself and not worry about their judgment. I was free. But what was I free to do? Go nowhere and get zero messages? yes. but I wanted to fall in love with Nia again. I used to be 100% okay with being by myself for hours but now it felt like I needed to talk to someone all the time. So I started trying to do just that. I made a positivity journal, because diaries are mad negative, and I'm trying to slowly realize what I'm actually interested in. What I like in this world and what I believe in. But this is no self help book so let me remind you once more. I am not the main character in this story.
I know what you're thinking. "It sounds an awful lot like you are the main character to me." Yes, and in some world I might be but if I get my hopes up now it'll just ruin everything. Now let us continue. My bestfriend/cousin woke up this morning and told me that she was going to delete everything. All her social media and all her viewing apps, including Nertflux from her phone. When I first heard her I thought that girl was crazy. " but why, aren't you going to be bored" I asked her. she replied to me with some of the most important words in this book ( emphasis on the "some") " social media is really toxic and I need to focus on the more important things in my life right now, school and work." In all honesty I had done something similar before, though it wasn't by choice, my phone got stolen and I didn't have anything for 6 months. The memories of how my life was improved started to rush back to me. I could read faster and focus on things for a longer period of time because I wasn't in this constant state of needing to consume useless knowledge, like what Stephany posted on her Instagram. I was able to be me and not be something that was influenced from a load of strangers told me to be. This was exactly what I needed. So I told her " honestly I don't see a point to social media if I cant share it with you". That was cheesy but my point still remained, If I got on LikLok ( I'm not getting sewed for this) and I saw something funny my first move was to send it to her, but if I cant laugh and joke about it with her then what's the point. So just as fast as this story started I deleted it all from my phone in an instant. And my first move was to click on Snerpcherp ( pls don't sew me) that wasn't even on my phone. I was addicted like the kids that would smoke in the bathrooms, it was disgusting. I was sick. So maybe this is a good thing then. I will be able to get my grades up and get a job to save up for a car. Then the thoughts started kicking in. What's the point of all this, of getting a car and going to college, I felt lost again. Stuck in some maze I couldn't escape. So I decided to watch something. a movie that I had downloaded on an old phone during my phoneless six months. "Mune "( good movie by the way, I love it). As the credits rolled I looked at the time realizing that it was late and i left my dog in her cadge and she needed to go outside. But I was glued to the bed and glued to the screen and it almost seemed like magic once "The little prince" started playing. I had forgotten how much I loved this movie. The way it reminds me that I never wanted to grow up anyway. That even from the beginning I wasn't meant to thrive in this world but I was supposed to stick out like a splinter in this cruel, awful world. As the scenes played, clip by clip I started to remember the good things about the freedom we had as children. Playing in the grass and rolling around without a care. I started to see a friend of mine and me playing in the school yard. we used to imagine entire realities and I could swear we were there. One day I was on a boat with my hair blowing in the sea breeze, and the next I was a specific color and my friend was my sister and we had to fight off evil people who wanted to kidnap our third and imaginary sister. Then I came to the realization that it had been years since I had climbed a tree. So I went outside.
