Back In Time

Chapter 3

Evan was currently in the computer lab. He got a phone call from Larry that he couldn't drive him home, as expected. Connor couldn't help but laugh that Larry of all people was now calling Evan, but hey, whatever.

Classes have been a little weird. Jeremy and Michael, some kids from a class he's in, swapped places- so now Jeremy's all red and Michael's blue. It's just really bizarre.

Popular bitches got swapped out with nerds- it was weird. Nothing against nerds, that's not what Evan meant. It was just. Odd.

So here he was.

Typing out a letter.

"What do I even write?" Evan asked, looking over at Connor.

He just shrugged. "I don't know. I never did any of my therapy assignments, why are you asking me?"

"Because you're the only normal thing left right now," Evan sighed.

"A floating, transparent image of someone who died is normal?"

"At this rate? It might as well be," Evan said, glancing down at his computer before writing whatever came to his mind.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today isn't a good day. It isn't going to be a good week, or a good month, or a good year, or a good decade, not even a good century! And here's why.

You're sitting here surrounded by all of these people who you used to know a good while back, and now, you don't even know who's who. Your best friend apparently hurt you now. He wouldn't have meant it, though. He wouldn't have meant it if he remembered who I was. But he doesn't need to remember anything, because I'm not...

This is so fucking confusing!

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so out of place, like I'm trapped in a little box with nowhere to call home.

I don't know who I am anymore, either.

Am I the same? Did I change? What do these people think about me? Am I a dick? Am I the same? I don't know!

Sincerely, your best friend,
Me

And then he printed out the paper.

And Connor just rolled his eyes, but before he was able to say anything out loud, Jared walked in the room, so he decided to keep quiet.

"So. What happened to your arm?" Jared asked, glaring over at Evan.

"Oh, I- I uh... I fell," Evan replied, picking at his cast. "Out of a tree."

"You fell? Out of a tree?" He laughed a bit. "That's the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard. Like, geez, are you an acorn or something?"

Evan's eyes lit up, and he couldn't help but smile. "Yes!"

Jared was thrown off by that. "Uh... yes?"

"Sorry, sorry that was really weird to you, probably. I- I... yeah..." Evan mumbled.

"Whatever," Jared shrugged. "No one's. Uh. No one's signed your cast."

"Oh- yeah, I know," Evan said, glancing over at him.

"I'll sign it." Jared's voice sounded pretty forceful- more forceful than Evan remembered Connor's sounding from the last time this happened. Probably because Jared didn't know any better. Maybe Evan was just making assumptions. "Do you have a sharpie?"

Evan nodded and took it out. Jared grabbed the sharpie and pulled Evan's arm towards him. That caused Evan to wince a little. He couldn't help but be glad when Jared wrote his name, though. Sure, it was in a handwriting that didn't look remotely like the one the real Jared wrote in, but it was probably the closest thing he was going to get.

"Oh, uh... thanks."

Jared nodded, releasing Evan's arm. "Uh. Yea. No problem." He walked over to the printer, noticing Evan's letter on it. Jared picked it up and started reading it. "This is yours, right? 'Dear Evan Hansen?'"

"Oh, I'm so sorry that was even there! It was some stupid thing for an assignment-"

"What the fuck does this even mean," Jared mumbled. "Nothing in this even makes sense. Am I the 'best friend?' Cause spoiler alert, Hansen, I don't have amnesia."

"I- you wouldn't understand..." Evan sighed.

"I need some type of an explanation of why you're being so fucking clingy out of nowhere for no reason. Especially because you try your hardest to avoid me every day," Jared snapped, folding up the paper and putting it in his pocket. "Tell me."

"I said you wouldn't believe me."

"Do you think I'm fucking dumb?!" Jared yelled, causing Evan to take a few steps back. "I can understand whatever bullshit you throw at me, just tell me!"

Should I?

"Sure. He's going to hate you either way," Connor shrugged.

Oh. Great.

"Okay! Okay, fine! Geez," Evan sighed. "I'm- I'm from an alternate dimension."

Jared just laughed. "Alternate dimension?"

"Yeah. And in that other dimension, I fucked up. A lot. A-and I lied, too. Somehow, I got a second chance, and now I'm... I'm here. And Jared, you were my... my friend since-"

"Stop calling me your friend," Jared said, glaring at Evan. "I don't want any friends. I don't need them. I don't care about whatever the fuck happened in this alternate dimension, because it still sounds like bull."

Evan felt physical pain when Jared said that. "You don't understand! It's real!"

"Yeah, just as real as the fact that we're friends! Completely nonexistent!" Jared yelled. "I don't need you, or my parents, or my sister, or anyone to be close to me! Because you know what? One day, you guys won't ever see again, and if you truly were close to me? If this wasn't some fucked up lie? You'd be heartbroken. And you know what? I don't want anyone to feel that way. So stop pretending you care!"

"But I do!"

"And I don't!" Jared snapped, turning around and running away from the computer lab.

Evan was quick to sprint to the door. "Jared, wait!"

"Don't go after him."

Evan turned to Connor. "What the hell do you mean?"

"It's no use," Connor shrugged. "He has his mind made up."

"So you want me to let him do the inevitable? You want me to let him kill himself?" Evan asked, part of him angry that Connor would even suggest that.

"He might not understand you, but you don't understand him, either. Evan, this is an entirely different Jared. He didn't just wake up one day and decide to be mean. He had years of trauma build up to who he is now," Connor replied.

"How do you know leaving him alone is the best option? You don't even know him!"

"I don't know him because I am him!" Connor yelled.

Evan backed up a little. "I can't just let him die!"

"You said it yourself, Evan. It's inevitable," Connor sighed. "The more you talk to him, the more pissed off he's going to get, anyways. Look, I'm sorry."

"You know what?!" Evan snapped, glancing over at him. "You told me that you were sure this was going to work. You told me that we'd go back in time, and everything would be fixed! I never agreed to have my best friend die!"

"Evan-"

"Fuck you, Connor Murphy!"