Run || Bertholdt Hoover x Reader

Run. Part One.

It was the screams of the titans around you that woke you up. As soon as you opened your eyes you grabbed your head, the light from the sun sending a wave of pain through you.. You had to get out of here, you had to find the other scouts, you had to find someone. Getting out of the open was the only way for you to survive, if you were out here for too long a titan would notice you. You knew that. Forcing yourself up off your back the first thing you noticed was the blood. You were caked in it, it stuck to your hands and your pants and it wasn't hard to figure out it was human blood.

Wide eyes finally looked around you and you started shaking. The bodies of the squad you'd been with were around you. Some of them were missing body parts, others had been crushed. A cry escaped you as you looked over at the half eaten body of a garrison soldier. She'd been the one to pull you onto her horse, she'd been the one who said she was going to head back to the wall with you. Then what happened? After that it went blank.

Once again shock went through you as you remembered. Bertholdt and Reiner. Titans, the titans who'd destroyed the wall. They transformed in front of you as you stood there and did nothing. Eren was captured, Ymir was captured and you did nothing. All you could do was stare into those green eyes wondering why. Why he'd lied to you. Why he'd done it. Why he'd never told you. You'd loved him; he'd said he loved you but he let you believe a lie. Or was it a lie? The way he cried and yelled at you all, asking someone to find him, saying he didn't want to be this. But after that? After that what? You were laying among dead bodies, covered in blood and all you could remember was the look in Bertholdt's eyes.

Another yell from a titan shook you from those memories. Across the field was a group of titans, all of them around... the armored titan. That was it. Commander Erwin charged in with a horde of titans to stop Reiner. The Garrison woman who'd picked you up was hit and then it went dark. Dark because you'd been on the same horse as her and when she was downed so we're you. That had to be why no one else was here. They had to think you were dead. They wouldn't have left you. Right? Panic filled you again as you stood up, maybe they didn't care if you were dead. If they thought you were working with Bertholdt they might have wanted you dead.

Tears fell down your cheeks as you doubled over emptying the contents of your stomach. The smell of blood, the pain in your head and the idea that... no one cared if you were alive coming at you all at once. A sob tore through you as you fell to your knees, you didn't want to die like this. Betrayed and abandoned, the scouts were supposed to finally be your family. Bertholdt was supposed to save you from this, he'd promised you that he would. You believed him, he was so nice and so good that when you told him things, even though he didn't always say much back you thought you knew him.

The sad ways he looked at you when he thought you weren't looking, but you always were. Since the first day you were looking at him. He was so quiet and shy but you were determined. Maybe he was trying not to get too close to people, knowing what he'd done, what he was. But you pushed, you just had to push. You never left things alone, you were desperate for that feeling he gave you and now you were out here left for the titans. Maybe it was some kind of justice, justice that burned you as you stared at your blood covered hands against the ground under you.

Another roar. This time from the Armored Titan, it was pushing against the others. Trying to get away from them. Bertholdt was there. The fear that you felt wasn't for you, it was for him. Even knowing what he was, what he'd done your heart still betrayed you. Your body shook as you stopped yourself from trying to go forward. What could you even do? Run in there and die for someone who you weren't even sure ever actually cared about you?

That wasn't true though, it couldn't be true. Bertholdt... he'd said he wanted to go back to his home, wanted you to see his home. Whatever home that was, the one they wanted to take Eren to. It was the reason Bertholdt and Reiner joined the military they'd said, to take their home back. You could remember exactly when he'd told you he wanted you to go home with him.

The two of you had been sitting outside after dinner, the sun was going down and you were just sitting there with him, talking about something you'd done wrong with the ODM gear. You were angry about it, you were a full scout now and you couldn't make those mistakes. If it had happened when the female titan attacked you'd have been killed. You'd said that, mentioned Annie, and then he said it. When he told you that he wished you could come home with him. You'd assumed he meant after taking back Wall Maria which was the goal of the scouts but now you knew that wasn't the case.

His home was somewhere else, somewhere with other people. That meant that there was life outside the walls. It didn't seem possible, it wasn't supposed to be possible but you'd watched the love of your life turn into the colossal titan right in front of you. Nothing made sense anymore, accepting that was the only thing you could do right now. Everyone thought they knew what the world was, it wasn't that easy. It went from people being able to be titans, titans in the walls and now there was a whole world out there that you didn't even know existed.

Your hands shook at your sides as you watched the armored titan and Ymir's titans pushed through the others. Did that mean Christa was with them? That was the only way Ymir would go with them, but you didn't think they'd ever abandon Christa, not even to Ymir. Reiner and Ymir were titans but Bertholdt... he was human, you could still see the hand over Reiner's neck where he was protecting Bertholdt, trying to keep the titans from attacking him. Clenching your jaw you watched the two of them fight to get away. You should run, you couldn't do anything to help and you didn't know what they'd do if you did try to help them. Maybe you were the enemy to them as well.

Stepping backwards you winced as you bumped against one of the bodies and another weak cry left you. You couldn't look down, you didn't want to see any faces you knew. All you'd known was losing people you joined the scouts to help stop that. You didn't want anyone else to have to feel the same pain you did. It was a mistake. Joining the scouts did nothing but lose you everything now. Even Bertholdt. If you'd joined the Garrison you wouldn't even know. They could tell you some story about him being dead and you'd hate it but you'd be okay. Being a scout put you right next to his betrayal. It put you right in front of it as Mikasa slashed his throat and he stared at you.

Tearing your eyes away from the battling titans in front of you, you looked up at the trees above you. That was your escape, if you could get in the trees you could figure out where to go. Right now the titans were all focused on Reiner and Ymir, they didn't notice anything else. Tapping the tanks on your ODM gear you swore under your breath when you realized one of the tanks was almost empty. That left only one option.

Letting out a shaking breath you quickly tossed the almost empty tanks onto the grass before you had to truly look at the scene in front of you. One of the bodies would have at least one full tank. You just had to find out which ones. Falling to your knees in front of one of them you ignored the stench of blood getting stronger when you took their ODM gear. "Fuck." The gear was too damaged to use it. Steadying your hands you had to go through three different corpses before you could find two tanks that actually had gas in them. Ignoring the way the canisters slid against your hands from the blood you double-checked the rest of your gear before you shot up into one of the trees.