Clear Skies to Milwaukee

1

I'd been planning this for a while. I had all my stuff packed and was ready to go. I didn't bother telling anyone where I was going,  let alone why.  I tried not to think too much as I put my suitcase in my car and made sure everything was there. I didn't want to think. If I thought about it I knew I wouldn't do it. But it was too late. I had already sold almost all of my belongings and moved out of my apartment.  I was almost done packing when a few images popped into my head. They were all of my best friend, Lola. She died last year. She was wonderful. I loved her with everything in me. Now that she's gone, it feels like there's nothing left in me except anger, sadness, and a hell of a lot of regrets. I tried to shake the images of her out of my head because I wasn't in the mood to cry. I got in my station wagon and turned on the radio to distract myself. Un-Break My Heart came on. I didn't like that song so I tuned it to a different station. "Welcome back to WKLZ where we are coming in with hits from the '80s, here we have some Tears for Fears for ya." Everybody wants to rule the world came on. That was Lola's favorite song, so I left it on for old time's sake. Even while we sleep, we will find you acting on your best behavior, turn your back on mother nature. Everybody wants to rule the world. Suddenly all I could think about was her. Her hair, her eyes, how she would scream the lyrics of this song. Suddenly I couldn't help it and I had to scream the lyrics, just like she did. With hot tears streaming down my face and my knuckles turning white from how hard I was gripping the steering wheel, I screamed the song. "Say that you'll never never never never need it, One headline why believe it? Everybody wants to rule the world!" I was overcome with too much emotion at this point. I had to pull over and I just sat there and cried while Take on me played. The pain of replaying her death in my head was indescribable.  All she ever wanted was to help me. Why did I push her away? Why...why did I do what I did. It's all my fault. Everything is my fault.