Then there was us

Prologue: April and Fools

Maia

It was a bright day. On April 1st. I got up to see that the sun beat me to it again.

Even though my eyes were closed, I knew it was there. I felt the crisp on my skin as the sun’s ray reached me. I slowly raised my head to see morning through my open window as I left it free last night. Nakakapagod kasing isarado pa ito after a long tiring day. I arrive late in the night from work. And have yet to continue work until I fall asleep without knowing it. Kaya siguro I feel comfortable na na nakabukas ito.

What a bright scene for April Fools. Just why do we need to actually follow through with this comedy and spit lies to fool others? I can never understand.

I have a job waiting for me which instructs me to get ready and pampered to greet it. And a lover to send “hello” and “I’ll see you later” on the phone with. It’s almost as if it’s automatic, I have to do it daily. But that’s normal for the both of us. We need it. We need each other, I think.

Having to walk with heels everyday had gotten my legs all worked up. But my destination is not far so walking is the best option. As I walked, I pass by so many people who are different from me. Some are smiling, most of them are not, and I am one of the most. Some I may never see again, and some I may but I won’t know. Maybe one of them will bump into me, or step on my shoe, spill their coffee on my clothes, or just glance at me, just a small interaction, and just one small action would make a lot of things complicated. Occasionally glancing at the people I pass through and cross paths with, I can see that they live very unique lives, different than mine, and the others. The irony is, that’s the only thing we have in common.

All the people I see, they’re all different. But today is April 1st though, so they are all fools.

It is different for me though. I display the same emotions as I had in the past 8 years. But it’s on purpose. I have to stay in the present and foresee my future. I swore to myself I will try to bury everything in the past. So, I must stay that way. There’s no reason not to anyway.

After passing by the coffee shop just a few blocks away from my apartment, I knew I arrived at my stop. It’s almost as if it always tells me “you’re here” every working day. Just a few more steps and there it is. There’s the building that holds my everyday living. The only thing that keeps me going.

When I arrived at my desk, I couldn’t believe what my eyes were served. I hoped I would only see a lot of papers stacked on my desk with notes sticking out of the pages, stating instructions. Like every day. But today it wasn’t. My desk was more spacious than I thought it was. Only a single “thing” was on it and it got my name on it.

It was the only truth I wish was a lie.

A package was sent to me. Why would I be trembling over a package? The answer is, I am being weak again. The name that’s plastered on the “FROM” section made me overly nervous and excited. My body voluntarily sat down. I was almost teary. Of course it makes sense. It’s April 1st today. It’s that day in the past. How could I possibly forget?

I looked around hoping ‘that’ person was there. It was absurd and unacceptable. Part of me hopes that this would never happen. Pero gusto ko rin siyang makita ulit at makausap. Ang tagal na simula nung huli ko siyang makita.

I hoped that we never crossed paths ever again, because I’d remember what went wrong again, but I am being played upon by April fools. Now, I lie to myself saying I am not anticipating and grateful that finally I have the chance again. What a fool.

I never thought this day would come. Will I be able to see this person again? My hopes were up. And the chances were great. But, I am not allowed to feel happy about this.

It is…..wrong.

I hope it’s just a lie. So I could go on again and live like nothing has happened.

It was a bright day. When I saw that name for the first time in the past 8 years.

It was a bright day. On April 1st. When I felt my heart again.